Last night, there was a catfight. Just like that time Crystal and Alexis threw down.
Did you note the whish of Iris' tail in these shots? Action shots, by June, wildlife photographer. Lily started it, which she's been doing lately. I'll be minding my own business (porn), when I hear the hssssssss of another catfight. It makes Edsel nervous. He always runs in and sniffs everyone. Tries to get a group discussion going. Lillee, how it make you feel when Eyeriss hiss at you?
Look at Lily's tail stalking off, defeated. And Iris is all, Dat rite; keep on walkin', bish. Keep on walkin.'
Minutes later she was purring and snoring on my lap. The snore of victory. Perhaps I need to get out of the house more.
Actually, I did go out some. I was on another of my infernal dates yesterday, and I saw a Tallulah-looking dog outside the restaurant and got weepy. Hey, sex machine. Get on up.
I also saw this, and…yeah.
I don't really look at porn, by the way. Do you? Are you a girl? Innnnnnteresting. What do you look at, specifically? Sign in anon and tell me all. I want to know. Because it all seems so phony to me. So I'd be interested in hearing why someone likes it. I am not asking in a judgy way; I'm really interested.
Who was it among you who told me about that gossip site, Crazy Days and Nights? Because now I can't live without Blind Items Revealed, and I'm afraid at this point I have the CDAN app, and what else can I look at online? There's only so much Large Black Men on Tumblr you can see before you're all Zzzzzzzzz.
All right, I'd better go. It's trash day and recycle day and I have to take out my stuff and Peg's. Then I have to go to work and write things, which is exciting because I used to go to work and proofread things, which I am scheduled to do tomorrow, and it's nice to do both. Also I have to write a Purple Clover tonight, and what can I write about? I need a new topic. I've already discussed my hair, my dog, my makeup, my weight, my friends and my family. What's left? Those are all my food groups.
Suggestions, please. I guess I could write about porn. Oh my god, I could write girl porn. What girls want in their porn. Mostly they want a man to be all, You're the great love of my life. Here's a certificate to a spa. You go there while I shop for a ring. Then like on porn sites where you choose your topic, instead of Teen Lesbians or MILFs, you could pick emerald-cut diamond or cushion cut.
Oh my god goodbye. Behold a photo of me, that I took during the catfight because am desperately in love with self.
How can I be in love with self with that fucking nose?