Other than the part where Heath Ledger died, this has been a lovely day.
Wasn't that shocking? Here we all are waiting for the Britney news, and he has to up and die. I thought he was a wonderful actor, and also cute. Who knew he was all up in the valley of the dolls?
In my actual real life, I got the news that my friend Blanche had a baby. I called her (I want you to know she called ME and TOLD me to call her, otherwise I would never call anyone who had a newborn because my mother would flip her lid and then poop a brick, which you have to admit is kind of tempting to inspire, isn't it?), and instead of baby discussions, we ended up talking about her golden Retriever, Daisy, for twenty minutes. And yes, capitalizing "Retriever" and lowercasing "golden" is correct.
Do you know what I hate? People who say "golden Lab." It is a YELLOW Lab or a GOLDEN Retriever. There is no such thing as a golden Lab. And what's with the word "golden," anyway? What's wrong with just "gold"? Don't they mean the same thing?
I have been proofreading all afternoon. Can you tell? I have been cleaning up after another proofreader, who is usually better at proofing than I am but I think she was smoking the golden bowl while she worked (see that? I got the word "golden" in, even though it made absolutely no sense), because she was making all KINDS of bizarre changes. "Italicize this! Even though up until now we never did! Make this all caps just for fun! Wooo! smoke smoke smoke…"
Chase that dragon, girl. Get that monkey off your back. Whatever.
My other good news is that when I got home from work — the secretary work, not the clean-up-after-Courtney-Love-the-proofreader work — there was a package waiting for me from coffeegal, who not only has a blog that I like, but now she is selling cute kitchen-y things, as well, and if you guys think you're gonna snatch up that heart apron before me, you are sadly mistaken.
Anyway, she sent me some fitness gee-gaws, which includes one of those large water jugs that looks like a miniature version of an at-work water cooler. Only it has a handle. Do you feel like you're right here looking at it with me? See what I mean, when people say I should write a book, and I ignore them? This is why. Anyway, she got me a cute water holder.
And also too, she gave me the prettiest blank book, and I do love me a journal. And she had good gift presentation too. I like me the coffee gal. I mean, I liked her before she plied me with gifts, too.
My third and final piece of good news is that today when I went to the nursing home to read to Miss Lilly, there was a beautiful long-haired black kitty hanging outside! I plan to seduce him and bring him home. He looks exactly like my cat Ruby, so I can totally fool Marvin Gardensalad for weeks, at least. "No, that's Ruby! I know she was just in the bedroom. Now she's here! What?"
I am off to do yoga with the Australian "meter" lady again, and this time I will have all of your jeering comments on how big a meter is to aid me. By the way, is it a bad sign that I sound like I am crinkling up a Doritos bag every time I move into another position? I sound like this: crickle, crackle, crackle.
Is that bad?