June disrobes

Lately, I’ve had to get up fairly early, to shower and do my hair and makeup and put on actual clothes that aren’t my cotton Frida Kahlo robe. I wonder if Frida Kahlo would’ve worn a robe with the drawings of one of her heroes?

The reason I have to do this is because I have been on camera as part of my work. I am not an online sex worker. What are those apps called where men pay money to look at women? All I can think of is MySpace, and welcome to the current hip mind of June Gardens. PayCash? CashApp? No, that’s a legit app, I think. Oh, what IS it?

Dang. If anyone knows what I’m talking about, alert me.

Anyway, I’m not one of those. Obviously. Because I can’t even think of what it’s called. Also, I’m certain there’s a giant call for men looking to pay money to look at 55-year-old women. We don’t need an app for that because Lisa Rinna is providing that service for free.

At work, see, I am interviewing people, see, because I am writing articles about the cool things our client is doing, and putting those stories on their website and also on social media. And that is why I have to look like a decent functioning member of society and not someone who works in her Frida Kahlo robe all day.

We’re gonna look back at this pandemic time as super extra weird.

Speaking of extra super weird, do you remember like 5 or 6 years ago when everyone they hired at my job was named Alex? We had, seriously, 10 people named Alex. Now it’s Jamie, or some iteration of that name, but spelled in a different way. I swear there are 47 Jaymees there now. It’s been kind of fun to watch the ebbs and flows of that place. Imagine the stories The Poet could tell. She’s been there more than 30 years.

My point is, I was showering and putting gel in my hurr when I thought, Oh crap. I guess I have to blog today too. I’d sort of forgotten it’s an everyday thing. So here I am.

Clementine already has a new home, and for that I am sad. I got a message from a woman who is a single mother with one child, no other pets. Not that her child is a pet. Anyway, that’s ideal for Clementine, who I can tell will bond hard with her human and NOT WITH OTHER PETS. Not that she wouldn’t have adjusted. It just never would be her jam, I don’t think.

So the woman and I texted back and forth about the transfer. We work totally different hours. Well. Between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. we are both actually at work at the same time, but she works 3 to 11 and I work 8:30 to 5.

“5:00.” Since the pandemic, the end of the day is what you might call blurred. Some days, if I have plans, I’ll say, “I am stopping at 5:00.” And then the next day there will be a bunch of “You still there?” messages. Relaxing.

We really need to cut this out. I mean, in our society in general. It’s not good for anyone.

But anyway, in talking to the woman, we figured out the best solution would be for me to drive the kitten to her work, where her boyfriend could take it home. She works way out, at the Amazon distribution center. I’ve never been there.

The sun was just setting as I headed there last night, and there was a light sprinkle. By the time I was driving back home, there was a downpour, and it was pitch black out, and I could not see anything. Oh, and I was at one bar on my gas things. What are those called? They’re probably called the same thing as that app where men pay to look at women.

Why are men so odd? Visuals are so important to them.

Anyway, I got home, but felt much like Tom Hanks did after he reached the island with pieces of the FedEx plane floating with him. I was disoriented and traumatized. And then I got the sads. Oh, I was sad. I think I cannot handle any more kitten fostering for awhile. I’ll just get through the missing Iris parts and then try fostering again. I conflated the whole grieving process, I think.

Clementine’s new owner has already texted me to say she’s doing great, which is good to hear. I was worried she would be scared. That sweet kitten.

I had better go. I have two interviews to do today and in between I have a meeting with a coworker named Jamie. I am not making that up.

Tonight I get my hair cut, she says, not going. I got the color done at the beginning of May, and the COLOR is OK, but my CURLS have disappeared. I think part of it is the dye itself sort of knocked out the curl, which happens, but also the cut was not a curly cut, so I am headed to the Deva Cut place in my neighborhood for a real curly girl cut. I can’t help it that they call it “curly girl.” I don’t like it any better than you do.

Also this week, The Princess Bride is playing at my old theater. Last week I saw Vertigo there. And coming soon? The Big Lebowski.

I’ll alert you to my hair situation tomorrow. I am looking forward to my hair sproinging and not lying there like Garth’s hair.

Party on,
June

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June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

43 thoughts on “June disrobes”

  1. I feel like the world has found it’s footing. JOOOOOOON is back!

    Will Clementine retain her name? Or will she just be Clementine to us, here on this not-blog and retain her anonymity in the world?

    When I got my lens implants I regained my ability to drive in the dark – but in the dark AND the rain? No thank you. I’m glad you made it back. And the sight of you walking out the door with your tag draped down your back is relatable. I’ve appeared in public with that sticker that runs down the leg of your jeans that says your pants size over and over and over again… like the world can’t already tell I’m an XXXXX. They need the visual to confirm.

    Our Alex at work was Nancy – for years we had five Nancys in our directory. Now the 2nd to last Nancy will retire next week, leaving only one Nancy standing. I was one of four Lisas – two of us left. We had some Karens and Sharons and Bettys, too, but now we too have moved on to the Jamie/Kaitlyn/Callie phase of work life. We do still have a smattering of Kims – is Kim between Nancy and Jamie?

    Thank you June for coming back to us. You make my day!

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  2. Oh my gosh I am so glad you are back! I didn’t check yesterday somehow so I even had two posts to read. All is right withy world now. Thank you.

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  3. In one small department at my work we had a Kaitlyn, Caitlin, Kacey, and Cait. No one could ever keep them straight.

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  4. Ohhhh, Jooooon! You have returned to us! Happy happy day!

    You are a pleasure of life and I missed your not-blog very much.

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  5. Since you ask, I’ve taken a cattle prod to my memory and come up with this:

    At one point, though not for long, the company had four Sarahs. Also a Sharon. Her calls were transferred to me sometimes.

    On one magazine we had Elyse, Alissa, Alicia and Ellis, and our liaison was Felice.

    And Joon, maybe you can add to this one: In the basement, we had two Jeffs, two Sarahs, two Neals and two Jorges.

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  6. I’m so glad Clementine had a home! I am sorry you are sad. On these zoom meetings are you dressed well up top and pajamas on bottom? I always wonder now that people zoom so much if they are doing that. It reminds me of the old glamour shots where they’d fluff your hair in the front, but not bother with the back that wouldn’t be photographed. Or so my sister told me. I never got the glamour shots.

    Vertigo always reminds me of the time I was a terrible date. I was young and newly single and just trying to get out there. We went to dinner and he invited me back to his house (I was completely naive about what he probably had in mind). I went, but I was so tired. He suggested we watch Vertigo and I fell asleep. How embarrassing. There was no second date. Go figure.
    I can’t wait to see the curly girl cut!

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      1. I’m always intrigued that CVS sells clothes. Maybe I need to check out their selection of lounge pants next time I’m there. CVS has everything! Except liquor. I’ve only seen liquor in CVS up north.

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  7. I just took my daughter to a woman who knows all about the curly girl method. Life changing. We’d been winging it and turns out we were doing it all wrong. My daughter’s hair is very, very curly. Like crazy tight.

    Glad you found a home for Clementine. All the cat loving you do sounds exhausting.

    No idea what that app is called. I find myself playing charades with my kids more often as I try to remember what the heck word I am trying to think of.

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  8. I can’t drive in the rain at night, heck I do well to drive at noon. Cars in our town don’t have turn signals, you have to guess what they plan on doing.
    I wonder how many babies will be named Lillibet this year. I would be angry if I was Queen. That was her special name.

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  9. Retirement is giving me another plus. Now I don’t have to relearn the habit of gussying myself up to go back to on-site work! I think maybe I have a few of your newly lost curls. For 60+ years my hair was stubbornly straight. Now in the last two years I’m getting curls that I don’t know how to control! You did such an amazing thing with sweet Clementine. If I had lived closer, I might have entered the contest to give her a new home. And finally, I’ll bring this disjointed essay to a close by saying thank you for returning to this non-blog. You are very much appreciated.

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  10. Grief can and does get all entwined until you are not even grieving the thing you thought you were. Brains are weird.

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  11. I was out in that horrible downpour yesterday while driving to a doctor’s appointment in Knoxville. I hate driving on the highway in Knoxville because everyone drives too fast and they change lanes quickly, etc. But add to that rain so hard even the fastest setting on your wipers isn’t good enough and traffic was going 30mph on a 55mph road where people are used to driving 65-70 and I was DEFINITELY white-knuckle driving just praying I wouldn’t get rear-ended! It was awful and I’m sure my hair is even grayer now – lol!

    I’m glad you found Clementine a home. You have such a big heart for the four-legged ones that it hurts even more when they are gone.

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  12. You blogged! It’s like Christmas in June. Can’t wait to see your hair. I could totally relate to your experience driving at night in the rain. The worst.

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  13. Clementine was an excellent name for that cat! I’m excited for the little girl and her mom to love her and spoil her.

    The “you’re always available because you can work anywhere” will be one of the non-medical terrible things to come out of the pandemic. Mark my words.

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  14. I’m so glad to read two posts in one morning! Clementine is so sweet, and her new people will spoil her and love her.

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  15. Two new posts in a row! You’re spoiling the fives of us and I thank you. I wonder how many surprised men find your not blog today because of your title.

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  16. I dislike driving in the rain, too … old eyes weren’t meant for that.

    All the more reasons to stay home, warm and dry! and with curly hairs!

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  17. Frida Kahlo probably had a robe with drawings of that damn Diego on it. I will never get the attraction there. Also, You are maybe thinking of Only Fans.

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      1. I thought Only Fans was Sally Rand’s blog.

        Currently, Florence, who was very busy last week and is happily catching up on Book of June! Missed you particularly on the Third of June.

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  18. Juan!
    Garth’s hair.
    Little Clementine will be adored at her new home.

    I work at a school and we have a ton of Aiden/Ayden/Ai’Den/ and Brayden and Cayden’s.

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      1. Snort! My metal loving younger friends would love that, Juan.
        Signed oldies and soft rock mostly,
        Koala Raspberry
        PS Thanks for blogging again. You ARE a pleasure of life! There are still at least tens of us .

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  19. I have missed your blog so much—thank you for making my day! (Now i sound like Clint Eastwood)
    I appreciate you, and so, I am sure, does Clementine. (adorable name, too. It could be Jamie)

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  20. Are you talking about the gas gauge in the car? Sounds like you found a great home for Clementine. You are really amazing with the ability to attract animals like a magnet and then you are able to find good homes for them. I know it’s hard giving them up. I had a sweet kitty just show up at my house that I was feeding. She brought her two kittens to us when they were less than a week old. I had both the kittens promised. When they turned six weeks old I could not stop crying. I knew in my head I could not keep them, but my heart couldn’t do it. I was already feeding six other cats. I kept both of them turns out, best cats ever. Please understand I am not suggesting you should kept the fosters or Clementine, I just understand how bad it hurts.
    It’s impossible to see at night in the rain! The road just disappears and it’s scary.
    Tee

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  21. I feel so lucky, such a gift, two posts to read today. It is my daughter’s bday today and I am the one receiving gifts! (as i did when she was born – my gift.) She lives in Ontario and we are here in New Brunswick, covid has kept us apart for 17 months now.

    It is hot here today, and even if I did have the curly hair it would hang straight with sweat, or perhaps, as I have been corrected, with perspiration. My perspiration soaked hair is tied up tight for relief. I think that the sweat has gone to my brain, I will sign off here, but not before I say thank you for the lovely gift of your blog not blog.

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  22. Sweet Clementine! Grieving is so discombobulated! I feel fine then missing my Ellie sweeps over me like a thunderstorm. Take care of yourself!

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