Talkin’ ’bout a Revolution. And it costs $71.30.

I want you to get your sunglasses out so you can handle all the white Ima throw at you, but it snowed here overnight.

I know! Lily and I just hope we can dig out from under it.

I have American spirit, not the cigarettes, and I know I can rebuild.

Allegedly the tree guy is coming this week to pare back m’pear tree, which as you can see from the photo above got all screwed up last summer. Turns out you gotta trim your fruit trees every year, a thing no one TOLD me, so last year the pears broke a lot of the branches and what a pain in my patoot that pear tree is. I love it, though. I love the blossoms on it and the pears you can’t eat. I don’t love the hornets but I’m sure there’s some ecological reason we have to have hornets.

Why we gotta have fleas, though? As you can imagine, fleas are a hot topic in this house. I spend about $120 a month on flea prevention. I buy Revolution.

Don’tcha know, they’re talking about a Revolution and it sounds like a whisper.

If you didn’t drive around in college in your Toyota Corona with this Tracy Chapman album constantly playing on your tape deck perhaps this joke is lost on you. And yes, there WAS a Toyota CORONA.

There was this one guy I’d see at various bars and parties and he was hilarious and I forget why I never dated him. I do know that for most of the time I saw him I had a boyfriend who was an archeology major, and he was always off on digs and this funny guy always called my boyfriend, “The guy who likes dirt better than you.”

Anyway, I pulled up to some house party once and there was that funny guy. He took a look at my brown Toyota Corona and he was all, “Hey, June, nice family wagon.”

Why on earth didn’t I date that guy? Why’d I stick with Middle Earth dude, always digging the ground somewhere else?

I always pick the wrong men.

Do you know when I woulda been a more interesting blogger? Is back then. Oh, lord, you guys, every day was different. There was always drama, a new man around every corner, tearful breakups, passionate reunions, secret flirtations.

I’ve heard if you have borderline personality disorder or histrionic personality disorder you can grow out of them. Some personality disorders are forever, but some you age out of sometimes. I’ve never been diagnosed with either BPD or HPD but signs point to maybe I had a smidgen of them when I was younger. I think I aged out. Now I’ve grown sort of boring and stable.

It just sorta crept up on me.

I’ve been in the same job for 10 years. My credit score is close to 800. I broke up with someone in 2015 and just never took up with another relationship. For the last year, I cook dinner every night. Using salt and a garlic press and a vegetable streamer and shit.

Who even am I? I used to drop classes to get the refund so I could buy earrings. (To be fair, the time I did that, they were fabulous earrings. They looked like strands of DNA with multiple-colored big beads. Do not regret.)

Now I don’t even WEAR earrings cause they hurt m’ears. I mean.

Anyway, my insides are quieter and I guess that’s good for me but I’m telling you, had blogging been a thing in 1985, I’d have a bigger audience. You’d all make popcorn before each entry. It wouldn’t be, “Here’s where Lily slept” it’d be “I woke up in Puerto Rico today cause I felt like it.”

I kind of miss impulsive old me.

But also impulsive old me would forget to register for college, so.

Anyway, I gotta go. Nonimpulsive NEW me signs in for work every day on the dot at 8:30. This week I’ve been “coming in” early because I’ve been working in this large, painstaking project I get a few times a year.

Seriously, who even am I? Ugh. Can I regain my fun disorders? Is there a pill I can take or a rejuvenating cream?

Stable-ly,
June

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June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

33 thoughts on “Talkin’ ’bout a Revolution. And it costs $71.30.”

  1. I bought a cool car (1st car after college) but was going to pick it up the next day or something. I woke up in a sweat. What was I thinking? Called the dealer and switched it for a 4 door Sundance with seats that could go down and a hatch back. So responsible.

    I have my fair share of why did I date that guy? But not so many why wasn’t I dating that funny guy, because I think I knew why . . . he wasn’t interested in me. Maybe bc I didn’t wear cool DNA lookalike earrings.

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  2. My very first car was a ’72 Toyota Corona. It was a sedan, so sporty. Ha. Pretty sure it was the exact color of the one you had, a gold/brown/babypoop color. Manual transmission. No air conditioning. AM radio only No carpet, just plastic flooring. It was all I could afford but I cared not one bit, as it was my first car and it was brand new. My dad told me he’d pay half of any car I wanted (he knew he was safe ’cause I was a broke college student). I drove it for four years and then it went to my brother-in-law who was beginning his years as a broke college student. He drove it for four years and then sold it to a broke professor. It was seen around town for years; that little car had some miles on it!

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  3. I started buying Revolution in bulk from Australia because it was so much cheaper and doesn’t require going to the vet all the time with at least one cat (thus saving more in office visits). Because that shit adds up fast for four cats. And now the addition of cat Advil, various supplements, mostly wet food, etc. What I’ve learned: don’t have all the same pets from the same litter because multiple elderly pets is expensive AF.

    Is is just me or does it take at least a minute of every Ed Sheeran song to realize that it isn’t a new Tracey Chapman song? I’ll be in the car with the radio on and think, “Oh! Does Tracey Chapman have a new album? [Haha…album.] Oh, no. It’s Ed Sheeran again.”

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  4. I remember Coronas!
    I remember being fun and spontaneous. No longer. Now I am deep in a rut and need extricating from said rut.

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  5. OOOO! Snow! We had a good amount of snow last weekend, no surprise–it’s MN after all, but we really needed it. The old snow was gross. Now it looks fresh and white again.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  6. Oh man, my 20s were one wild ride and I loved every minute of it although I wasn’t into High Drama because that’s just too exhausting and I didn’t have time for that nonsense. Although I’m sure there were some Dramatic Moments. Juggling various boyfriends was the norm. My kids and their friends get a kick out of my youthful shenanigans. My life is very boring these days. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing.

    My first car was my grandpa’s 1961 Buick Special. We called it the Grandpa Cruiser and the motor had an annoying habit of shutting off at the most inopportune moments, like when making a left turn on a busy street during a torrential downpour. It didn’t have seatbelts, a working heater and only an AM radio. But it did have a V6, power steering and holes in the floorboards so you could swiftly dispose of any evidence when necessary.

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  7. Great post! That amount of snow would close everything in GA faster than covid. My mom had a brown Toyota Corona. That car was sad, uncomfortable, very difficult to drive because no power steering, but it was driven close to 500,000 miles before it was wrecked by one of the grandkids. I must be a slow learner, the most daring things I’ve ever done was after turning 50, so don’t give up on yourself.
    Tee

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  8. I am very boring… being a parent really makes you wonder who you really are, in addition to the middle-agedness of it all. What do I enjoy doing? What should we do today? I don’t know.

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  9. My parents were so strict, I felt all the pressure to stick to the script. I had a motorcycle and dated a LOT, but I was ridiculously boring otherwise – worked and studied. There was a notecard for each guy, so that I could keep them straight. And I never answered the phone – I had someone else answer and screen my calls, so I knew which guy it was. (This was before caller id.) I’m looking forward to retirement, when I won’t have to look Corporate any longer. Then I’ll be dying my hair all sorts of funky colors (or maybe wear wigs?!), get lots more tattoos, and maybe a few more piercings…oh, my poor hubby is going to have his hands full! He was quite the partier when he was younger, but I think he’s all worn out now. Ha!

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  10. You sound like you were a real flibbertigibbit back then. That would have been something to see. So glad you are cooking for yourself.

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  11. It sounds like you have the best of both worlds. A wild and crazy youth and then a stable adulthood. I have never done anything crazy. My childhood was so chaotic that I just crave peace as an adult. My husband burned everything at both ends. I told him he can’t have a mid life crisis because he did it all. Now he is 60 so middle age is over.

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    1. Would you be that person again if you really had the choice? I’ve been boring all my life but I did make some majorly bad choices in my teens and 20s that led to adventures that eventually got me to LA so maybe it all worked out. I’m still not exactly sure if I’m better off, though. But by then I really was tired of bad choices so I became suuuuuper boring but I’m OK with it. So would you be that person again if you had a choice?

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  12. I intend to be a crazy old lady. I just retired and I see way too many people my age getting crabbier and more set in their ways and if there’s any way to avoid that, I intend to do it. Anyway, second childhood ahoy!

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  13. I got my grandfather’s Ford Maverick, stylin’ I was not. I am so glad I didn’t live my crazy years during the time we’re in now, the photos that could be out there, oof. Maturing is great, I know someone who has not, it’s not pretty.

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  14. “I used to drop classes to get the refund so I could buy earrings. ” That killed me dead. Just a tossed- off remark that truly made me laugh out loud.

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  15. A break from the drama can be nice.

    I myself had a Volare hatchback the color of butterscotch pudding. Perfect for cruising and picking up men.

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  16. Sometimes maturity goes in the opposite direction. I was a shy, scared first grader who cried the whole year just wanting to go home to my Grandmother. I was an only child with no one my age around. I stayed like that until a divorce and a boss who toughened me up. Well. That worked a little too well! Isn’t it strange how it sneaks up on us?
    We a like you as you are, however we would have liked you in your drama days. We all aged (matured) along with you.
    Btw, are you going sledding today?

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  17. The snow! How will you manage? I hope you have enough provisions and firewood to survive.
    I’m no psychologist, but I think young people are more carefree because they instinctively know there are people around to keep them from leaning too far out over their skis*. Maturity brings the realization that the only person to really do that is yourself.
    [*Hugging self tightly for the snow reference.]

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  18. You must’ve gotten a LOT of rain before that snow, though, as I see it puddling. Ice skating rink for the cats if it ever got cold enough, long enough to freeze! We get ALL THE WIND at our house and it blows so hard, the house makes a lot of noises as the wind slams into it. I’m so not used to that as we had NO wind at our previous home. Some days I wonder if the house is just gonna get picked up off its foundation and blown away!

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  19. My steady-as-they-go sister and brother-in-law birthed and reared a BPD daughter, who went on to beget two more of the same. You’re right, talk about Drama with a capital D. And all 3 of them grew out of it but not before the rest of us had a books of nightmare stories.
    I never ask for pictures but I do wish you had a picture of those earrings. You must have been a fun friend.
    And who’s the fool who said they ought to make a shit colored car that would be impossible to see on the road at dusk and dawn and cloudy days? I had a Toyota the same color. I think they called it Fawn. As in that kind of animal you’re likely to smook dead at dusk and dawn because you can’t see the thing in that light. Let’s make a car and camouflage it!

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    1. I had a Ford Tempo that was beige. I don’t know what they called that color, but it was beige. I called it the Stealth Tempo because other drivers were constantly pulling out in front of me because it was invisible.

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  20. Last night I shared a bottle of wine with a friend (and former co-worker) and we know this man. He would be a perfect man for you. Just sayin’

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  21. I feel like maturity, more than age creeps up on you. I recently asked my dad when I lost my edge…. There was a time I was so full of piss and vinegar and would tell anyone what’s what. Now I can’t wait to get back to my isolation. I once threw keys to the office at my boss’ face, called him a girls name (he was a man) and stormed out very dramatically. Over something so insignificant I can’t even remember what it was! Now I don’t even have to bit my lip, I just mentally think some people are stupid and don’t let it ruin my day.

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  22. I know you saw me come in the door. I’m leaving a comment to let you know I have to read the post two or three times to suck all the juice out of it before I comment for real. There’s a lot of good stuff up there.

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  23. A re-JUNE-venating cream.

    The old you would not have let that go unsaid.

    So Happy Its Thursday. I have a two-day board advance (bc we no longer retreat, sigh). Virtual. 6 hours each day. That I have to lead. Sigh. I’ll take some of those pears, with tots.

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