I just figured out that if I positively rush through the various animal care steps in the morning I can be at my laptop blogging 18 minutes later. That’s only if I rush rush rush fly by night away from here and refuse to enjoy the moment. Moment schmoment. Sunrise schmunrise. The first person to ever s-c-h words to be funny must be rich and resting on his laurels right now. His schlaurels.

I once heard that the person who invented making a little indentation in your ice is resting on his laurels and rich now. Can you imagine? One small invention and woot, there it is. Riches. I really shoulda tried to take off with my Lean Cuisine vending machine idea back in the day. Back when women were all low-fat this and sodium schmodium that and schlepping Lean Cuisines to work. It was gonna heat up, see, and not just plop your icy Lean Cusine at you.

Hey, so what’s new? I mean, other than our president having coronavirus and all. It’s rather hard to seem interesting when the world is exploding all around us. I’m over here all, “I binged 14 episodes of Gilmore Girls this weekend! Yes, again!”

I went back to that trail and took another picture, but as you can see, we are not at the “exploding with color” phase yet. Leaves really are changing here, though. On the way to that trail, I pass my old neighborhood and I sort of forgot that as you come to my road, there is a canopy of trees that is so pretty this time of year. All yellow and orange and red all over and so on. In the spring that same canopy of trees is all blossoms all the time.

When did I get old and start noticing tree canopies?

Also too this weekend, in my hard-hitting weekend of crowds and parties, I decided on what colors Faithful Reader Kris will be using for my new afghan.

When did I get old and start getting excited about yarn colors?

In case you weren’t here last week, because you were off living your hard-hitting life of crowds and parties (this all felt a lot better when everyone was home, and not just the few paranoid), Faithful Reader Kris is making me another afghan. She made me one when I lived at my old house. You know, the one with a canopy of trees? My house, fmr.? Anyway, the afghan had blues and pinks and it perfectly matched my old living room. Now she’s making me one to match the living room, crnt. If you wanna call this living.

She sent me a page of yarn bits, and this is the first time I’ve ever gotten a page of yarn bits.

And this is the living room I’m tryina match. Ultimately, I selected Dusty Lilac, Rosé and Lincoln. Then she wrote me back and said, “We should maybe also add bluhhh and blee dee leee leee” and I said sure. Further reports as developments warrant.

I also took Blackie Spooky Midnight to the vet, for his booster shots, because apparently he’s in the Booster Club or something. Yes he IS getting rather big. I’ve had him for more than a month now. They grow when they’re kittens, you know.

His shot wore him out, but then the next day he was back to embracing life.

In the past few years, I’ve had two other man kittens: Steely Dan and Milhous. Both of them were aggressively kitten-ish, meaning they spent the whole first year of their lives just looking for ways to be awful. Forest is less so. He’s really just a sweet cat. He’s playful but not OH MY GOD CALM DOWN playful.

Again. What would make you say, “Ima dump this kitten”? WHAT?

Randolph Mantooth is an excellent cat name.

Anyway, that about sums up the wknd. Do you like how I’m so pressed for time that I have to abbreviate the word? I have that long commute ahead of m–oh, look I’m here!

Back when I lived in LA I’d have DIED for this lack of commute. There was nothing that obsessed me more than my long, awful commute every day. It was 16 miles each way and that took an hour. I tried every back road you could think of to get to work and it didn’t matter because every other yahoo in LA was tryina do the same thing. It was terrible.

From my window at work, I could see the freeway and I’d watch it get slower and slower as it got close to 5:00. And at the time, at that job, if there was no work for me, I could just go. But there was this


who sat in the front office whose job it was to give me work, if it came in. She’s the one who said I was selfish for not having kids. She had seven, two of whom she had to keep the man who left her, so we see how that turned out.

Anyway, she’d be at that front desk doing her makeup and gossiping with the others out there and I could SEE the trays of work that I had to proofread. “Hey, why don’t I take these now and give them back to you?” I’d ask, while I sat there WAITING FOR WORK.

“Oh, no. I have to check these in first,” she’d say, turning from them and ignoring them again.

I was not a fan of her.

She and the whole front desk area got in trouble for discussing the “funky spunk” episode of Sex and the City at the tops of their lungs. Believe it or not the person to turn them in was a young guy.


She was also the person who used to leave message for clients saying, “I’m just calling to alarm you of your appointment next week at 10.” I finally could not stand it a moment longer and had to go out there and tell her the difference between “alert” and “alarm.” They all acted like I was some sort of nerd egghead for having basic knowledge like this.

I lasted at that job two and a half years. How?

Anyway I’d better go. I have to commute to work, as my start time is in two minutes. I’d better get in the c–oh, look, here I am.

I need to get over that.

Published by


At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

48 thoughts on “Schmello”

  1. Two days ago someone sent a friend of mine a personalized video message from Randolph Mantooth.
    Yes, it is genuinely Randy Mantooth.
    She said that you go to this website, and enter some things regarding the person you’re buying the video message for. I think it takes a day or so but then you can download the video message.
    The one from Randy Mantooth was so nice. It was about a minute long and very kind and very personalized. He included all the things she mentioned about this person’s life and goals. It wasn’t cheap but he did a really good job. I don’t know what anyone else’s would be like but he was very sweet.


  2. “His schlaurels” sounds like a lisp, like how to explain to someone how to create a lisp sound. Now I can’t un-lisp it in my mind.

    Oh, I want to slap the “alarm” lady. Absolutely dreadful. I’m happy for you to have such a short commute now, pre-COVID and at present. Maybe your commute now is the universe’s way of balancing out all that time you spent with too much commute.

    Can’t wait to see the afghan! How kind of Kris. I kept looking at the yarns and your living room. They all match something in that room and they all go well together. I like the colors you chose! I’d more than likely give up trying to choose and use the yarns paper as a tiny afghan or frame it to hang on the wall.


  3. Cute cat boys. As a kid,I had a girl cat that was my love, but for some reason the rest of my life it’s been boy cats that have stolen my heart.


  4. Like you I have a five minute commute, and I will never stop being grateful. Sometimes it’s not even the length of one song on my playlist. It’s 100% awesome. Occasionally I get caught by a train and find myself fussing at the train to HURRY UP, FtLoG!!
    Cool cats, June!


  5. I wrote a comment between 8:30 and 9:00 AM and it never posted. I was feeling sick (feel better now) and stayed home all weekend eating Amish and pizzeria takeout (farmer’s market nearby) and binge watching Fargo Seasons One and Two on Hulu. He had never seen Fargo the series and loves it. I find it worthy of a rewatch. We are watching seaon 4 as well. You have to go get the Amish food yourself. I just had an image of an Amish teenager in a delivery buggy which is cracking me up. They don’t live here they just come here to sell their wares. I believe they have someone to drive them here in vans. It’s kind of far. They live in Pennsylvania, one state away.
    I would want to have chocked that biotch holding up your work. Did you ever tell anyone about it? I was raised not to snich but when it effects your ability to do your job that is where I draw the line and bitch. PS Your uterus is your personal business. I DESPISED when total strangers (nosy old ladies) asked me about my children and then said , “Don’t you LIKE children?” No, I hate the little f’ers, I wanted to say. I did not tell my infertility story much. I just said, “I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have about the store.” Mind your own damn business, stranger. SMDH.


  6. Cheezus, I hate people who demand that others procreate. My uterus is none of your business, thankyouverymuch.

    Lovely post, June. The photo of the walking path is so pretty. And I love passed-out Forest Spooky Randolph Mantooth who was so hot in “Emergency.” The man, not the cat.

    My weekend/wknd consisted of plopping on the couch and watching a lot of motorsports. Motocross, flat track, NASCAR and I know I just lost you there.


    1. The whole time I’ve been reading the comments, I’ve been wondering “Emergency” or “CHiPs”, “Emergency” or “ChiPs”. Boom, now I know. THANK you.


  7. Forest is a fine cat, I agree, WHO would put him out at the cemetery? Scum bags. That’s a great photo of Milhous and Forest in the tree. Kris does beautiful work, that afghan is going to be perfect for your living room. Saturday was my husband’s birthday and he wanted Krispy Kream doughnuts rather than a cake so I picked up raspberry filled, cream filled with chocolate icing and lemon filled KKs. They were delicious. I’ve given up at not being chubby.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I had a friend who crocheted a couple of throws for me and a small one for my daughter (back when she was little, so it was just her size). I love color so they are full of it. Maybe I’ll take a photo and post to the FBOJ. We are no longer friends, but I do love the throws. Maybe I should take up crocheting or knitting now that I am apparently retired and need to do something other than surf the net.


  9. Blackie Spooky Midnight is getting to be almost as big as Mil. He’s growing like a weed! It is amazing how long we stay at awful jobs. We feel such loyalty to the company while they feel -0- loyalty to us. I think those days are over.


  10. Forest is looking fabulous! I no longer worry about a commute because I retired Friday. And today is my birthday. So I am having a good day. I am going shoe shopping because I need shoes and I’m a little annoyed it won’t be the fun random trip it used to be, but rather rushing in and out of stores hoping I’m not there long enough to catch anything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Retirement! Happy Birthday! I’d wish you happy shopping, but these days shopping is too exhausting to be a happy experience. So I’ll wish you successful shoe shopping and, someday, somewhere to wear the new shoes.


      1. Thank you! I’m looking for cold weather dog walking shoes (so glamorous) so if I find anything I will definitely get to use them!


    2. Happy first retirement birthday!!
      I hope you do something you have never done before and that you don’t get arrested for it!!


  11. 23

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    condition: excellent
    Matching chairs in good condition $100.00 for both [obo]
    no emails please
    call or text 8126502337

    2 chairs like Junes pink angle chair grey patterned material
    Craigslist Bloomington Indiana


  12. Forest looks GI-NORMOUS in that pic.

    Spent part of my weekend working on/discussing college applications with my son, Tank. Driving 7 hrs to visit a college this weekend. Then visiting son Ed at his college the next weekend. Following weekend driving to another college 4 hrs in the other direction. All this upcoming travel has me wondering : HOW WILL WE MANAGE? It sounds so busy which used to be no prob. Now though? Sounds exhausting.

    This woman called you selfish for not having kids? WTF?!


  13. Good heavens I am up early this morning! I had to pick up my husband when he dropped off his car to be repaired from someone running into the back of him. He came out of the building, looked directly across the parking area (not the 30 feet down from him that I was) and called in a huff wondering where I had gone. Why can’t they look other than right in front of them? Anyway, thanks for the funny and cute pictures this morning. I enjoyed Gilmore Girls except I missed about half of their talking because they were so fast.


  14. Darn it, Word Press, stop messing with my comment. I wanted to thank Just Paula for mentioning the Cousin Itt pillow–I had been staring at Forest on the couch wondering how on earth his tail got so enormously fluffy. Kittens on a branch picture is so perfect it looks staged. David Attenborough, watch out!


  15. Thanks, Just Paula, for mentioning the pillow. I had been staring at the picture of Forest on the couch, wondering how in the world his tail got so enormously fluffy. Kittens on a branch is so perfect it looks staged. David Attenborough, watch out!


  16. He is beautiful!
    I lived 2.5 miles away from work in a Chicago suburb and it took me 50-60 minutes to get there. Moving away from Chicago after 8 years was one of the best days of my life. I would never live there again not for love or money.


  17. Lovely post, June. Wonderful artistic photo of the two boys in the tree. Just curious: What are laurels that people rest on, anyway? I never had a bad commute during my working days, but never had one as short as yours.


    1. You might be asking a rhetorical question, but in case you really want an answer, I’m pretty sure it comes from laurel wreaths of victory like those worn by Olympians.


  18. I really enjoy how your ads so often match what you’re saying. You need to get in the c-oh you’re here. Directly under that? Car advert. Big brother is reading you too. I like the colors you chose. My eyesight is terrible though and I read “lime” as “linc” and didn’t see the actual Lincoln and I was like “that doesn’t go at all.” Actual Lincoln looks good. Thank goodness I’m here to weigh in after the fact. I always had afghans growing up, but no one close to me makes them anymore. I have some my grandma made though. Another domestic art I never learned.


    1. Then just wait until the hunky firemen come to rescue him! Or maybe that will just make Edsel happy.

      Lovely post, June!


  19. Whatever happened to Randolph Mantooth? He reminded me of a former boyfriend. I will Google. It is indeed a fine cat name. Not so much a man name.

    Kitty pictures are magnificent!


  20. Why do we stay at a job that we hate? I admire millennials who change jobs at the drop of a hat. Keep going until you find nirvana (if that’s possible). I’m old school and just stay because of loyalty. Need to change my mindset.


    1. When I was coming up in the world of work, it was a bad thing if you job hopped. But you are right, young people now stay at one job and are always up to leave if another is better. Which, of course, nothing is wrong with advancing yourself, but I just can’t get used to it. My daughter says companies don’t view it the same way anymore. As long as you can explain the reasons, and it obviously was to “gain” each time, no problem!


  21. Good morning June! I woke up too early (California) and am delighted to find your post hot off the press. I love the photo of the nose touching, swashbuckling boy cats up on the branches/ship masts.. When I was reading your account of the annoying ex worker, I gave it my own ending: “… so finally I snapped and grabbed the nearest sorta empty desk trash can, walked up behind her and gently but firmly and put it on her head – upside down- like a hat. I was immediately fired but … eh … I enjoyed it so there’s that…” Have a good day, I’m going back to bed now zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. The commute is the only thing about working from home I enjoy. I hate it. Although I don’t know how I will get up in time to shower, make up and hair. 31 1/2 years being at work at 630 all gone.


  23. The kitten is MAGNIFICENT.
    Your Cousin Itt pillow is cracking me up.
    I think our leaves will hit peak this week. (I am also old. Older than you.)
    I also binged some Gilmore Girls this weekend. While I enjoyed it, it was better when I was younger. Now I sometimes want Lorelei to shut up already and I sometimes side with Emily. This is not necessarily a positive development.
    And I watched The Boys in the Band.


      1. OH THANK GOD. Really. Poor long-suffering Luke. And don’t get me started on that turd, Christopher.


          1. I started watching it because it was a fantasy about a woman eating pancakes for breakfast and Sukie’s best meals and PopTarts for supper and not looking as though she had.


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