The Nester

Do you want to know what I hate?

(Yes, June. Yes, we do. If there was ever a time for your hate, it’s now. Let’s all join hands, let’s do Hands Across America again, for it’s a good time for that too.

Did I ever tell you the first time Marvin and I slept together was the same day as Hands Across America? I always found that fitting. So to speak.)

Celebrities. I mean, I fawn over them like the next guy but oh my god, celebrities making videos on Instagram right now. First of all, they hold the phone WAY too close to their faces. I do not wish to see your un-made-up pores this closely, celebrity who always used to look hot. And isn’t that your ONE JOB? Continue to look hot. Don’t tell us to keep our spirits up if you look like hell.

I’m the pot calling the pan-demic black with my White Fang roots, over here. But I’m not a celebrity. I’m speaking to four people RN.

Anyway, not only do they hold the phone an inch from their faces, they also ALWAYS do this thing where when they’re talking to you, they roll their eyes to the side, like they need to consult the great wise elders over in the corner of the room. This is the thing that’s irking me.

That said, one celebrity who is a famous writer mentioned—while rolling her eyes to the side—to feel less discombobulated when you’re working from home, make your bed and get dressed. So today I did.

What I have found is I don’t have enough loungewear. I have one large comfy gray-blue zip-up sweatshirt I got at the beach last year, when I went with Lottie Blanco. I wear it constantly. When I wash it I’m like Calvin when they’d wash Hobbes. I eye the dryer nervously till I can get back to it.

I have like three pair of leggings and one of them’s red. So, hi, circus clown.

That’s it, other than workout leggings, which don’t really breathe. Does anyone have any good big roomy shirts they like and can link me to?

Speaking of clothes, I still have to try on my new StitchFixes. Work has been busy out my ass and at the end of my day, after my drive home

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Pandemic humor. Catch it!

I really don’t want to do anything else. Am so drained. But today. Today’s the day I’ll put on the StitchFix and then have to drive to the post office and touch the handle of the mailbox NO! NOOOO!

Also, guess what?! There is a bird making a nest somewhere around my front porchal area, as I keep seeing–oooo, there it went again! It’s flitting past my front porch, I think to maybe the awning or something. Oh, how exciting!

Every time a bird builds a nest near me I say I wish I could call in sick to work for a month, and now here we have a golden opportunity to see a nest from start to finish.

Further reports as developments warrant. I just went around from window to window to see if I can see any nests happening but so far I do not. My face got all close to the birds like a celebrity on Instagram.

Anyway, that’s all I have to tell you, seeing as my life isn’t that full of act-shun.

I leave you with today’s Google Photos memory, which is of Iris during that, her convalescence, after the dogs ripped her apart, like Joe and I were ripped apart.

Name that movie.

Okay, I have to go, not because work is calling (why is it so quiet today? It’s been insane all week and now quiet today? Why? Is this like before a tornado?) but because I am actually hungry, which is good because since my


I have not been. Granted, I’ll go in there and make something and then go, “Ugh. Food.” Still. At least I THINK I’m hungry. Also? Not nearly as thin as I’d hoped.


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At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

40 thoughts on “The Nester”

  1. I have been crazy trying to get classes online for Monday, and the amount of meetings I have had to attend on Zoom is staggering. It is hard to focus with kids at home, especially when it is hard to focus anyway. I was off the rails with this for a while because my daughter had a cough and a fever–and has asthma, but it has been 15 days now and none of us got sick, so we seem to be okay for now. She is still coughing, but is MUCH better. I am calmer today.

    Lovely post, lovely June!


    1. We’re all on edge, man. I’m glad I live here by myself, so I only have one person’s health to obsess over. At least directly. Now that my parents are staying fucking home, finally. NOW YOU STAY HOME, TOO, EX-MOTHER-IN-LAW!


      1. Parents….you just can’t do anything with them..won’t listen to what is good for them so we don’t worry. Out till all hours. hee


      2. Oh, I know! I grounded my mom (she’s 85) and had to do the “You will just have to accept the consequences if you make bad decisions” speech. Geez!


        1. Ugh. MY MOTHER TOO. And now she’s LYING about going out. “Oh I just went for a DRIVE!” I SAW YOU GO TO THE PIGGLY WIGGLY MOTHER! Terrible. Imma take her keys away is what Imma do.

          Parents these days.


  2. So nice to see a post again. I would love to have nesting birds build by us. I have been watching a pair of sandhill cranes on my walking path and really hoping I figure out where they finally put their nest.


  3. We’ve been watching a fox in our yard and the birds are gobbling every bit of seed we put out. hoping for fawns soon.


  4. Oh Iris! So glad she made it through her ordeal. I have to say I hate working from home. I find it hard to get up in the morning and stay focused. Ugh.


  5. Oh, I feel you grrrrl. I could go to work for two weeks or so and not have to do laundry. But after two days at home, I was out of clothes. Well, out of loose, comfy clothes that make me look like a roving pile of laundry.

    I am just now home from another half day at work. “I’ll just run in quickly and check the mail.” Five hours later, I was still trying to leave. Now I’m home and working remotely. Fun. Not.

    You had surgery?

    Hey, did I hawk my local coffee place here? Great, roasted-to-order, organic coffee by mail order. Highly recommend. They are small and so are feeling the pinch more than others. I’d like to do what I can to keep them afloat.

    I’m visiting the Etsy shops others mentioned in the comments, too.


  6. No bird nests here but I’ve been watching four bunnies play run and jump all morning. That means not too long and I’ll see baby bunnies!


  7. My favorite t-shirt and hoodie place is a small business in my favorite vacation spot in Cape May, NJ. It’s called The Flying Fish Studio. Everything is handmade and high quality. They do have pretty frequent sales.

    They are on Instagram too.


  8. I make my bed every day. It may not be in the morning when I get up but at some point, I do go in and make the bed. I also get dressed in regular work clothes every day. Of course, my “regular work clothes” are yoga pants and t-shirts but still I get dressed for work!

    Home office report: this morning, 2 different cats that are not mine came for breakfast at the Front Porch Diner. Neither left a tip. My cat sat in the middle of street and glared at them. Yesterday, my husband mused that maybe this is a good time to expand our garage. I had things to say about that, none of them good. He is reconsidering his plan.


  9. As Iris would say, “It’s nice to see you.” Always happy to find a new post. Other than reading your not-blog, I entertain myself by looking for deer in the yard. I can normally find the mama doe and her almost 10-month old twins.


  10. Very nice post – I hope you find the nest! I constantly have pigeon nests on my porch but those do not make me happy! Lots of little house wrens around lately and they are sweet and seem to be very hungry – so feeding them on my bench!
    Stay positive and yes – get a routine. It really does help to make the bed and get dressed. I try to do it before 3 pm!
    Thanks for writing June!


  11. I usually read the other comments, but I am not so that I do not peek at the other answers: I believe it is Say Anything, the Joe boyfriend thing, right?

    It reminds me when I was in high school and my best friend told me when I was hopelessly trying to get over a crush that I should just sit in my room and listen to sappy love songs. That was the only way in her TOTALLY inexperienced opinion to get over a boy. As if she was the one secretly working at the newspaper answering relationship questions letters, Dear, Ernie’s BFF, What to do if a boy I like . . . She was dead serious and convinced that she was right and it just always makes me laugh.

    There is a nest with a bird in it sitting by our front door right now.


  12. I will be checking out these links. I have been in sweatpants and sweatshirts and look about as dumpy as possible. I’m over it. Yesterday I put on makeup.

    Home office report is yesterday I had a stare-down with a feral cat. My home office is in the basement and my head is literally at ground level. They are regular size windows, not normal basement windows. Anyway, he seemed shocked to see me here and then decided to challenge me, I guess? At least now I have confirmation that the backs of my shrubs are dying from cat pee. What can I put there to make them not want to pee there?


  13. We have no nests in the yard but have a sharp shin hawk who likes to visit on occasion to survey the bird feeder. Yes to making the bed and a hard no to bras.


  14. I do love me some June! (read all the time, forget to comment most of the time…)

    I will hate going back to an office and having to wear anything with a real waistband.

    Tunic tops – I like Daily Ritual brand on Amazon, and Zulilly often has decent tops (but their shipping and returns are messed up so .. ). JJill, as recommended above, is also good (definitely watch for sales and you’re probably a M there — vanity sizing FTW!). Also, at this time of year, you can probably find deals on Lands End, Eddie Bauer, etc. (they like loose tops, but can veer into the odd so you have to be careful….) Its hard to buy stuff for now, for home, that might also work for when we are allowed back in public!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, and also? I get oversized plain sweatshirts at the Walmart. They run around $7 and they are very soft and comfy. I wear them around the house. Old Navy also has very soft, comfy sweatshirts.


  15. We had a Carolina Wren visit the bird bottle on our porch yesterday. I’ve been saving dryer lint to put out, when it’s not raining, for the birds to use in their nests. We actually have had sunshine two days in a row! This week I’ve been rather lazy. I’ve been sleeping later and staying in my gown longer, but we do make the bed and I’ve been pretending we are going to have company to motivate me to clean the house. So far that has worked.


  16. I actually took a shower, washed and dried m’hairs, put on makeup and jeans today. I needed a tiny something to feel slightly more normal. That, and I need the jeans to remind me to STOP NIBBLING ALREADY. (With Gumbo and both kids home, too, the kitchen seems to have become an all-you-can-eat buffet.)(At least until tomorrow, when the fridge locks arrive.)

    At our house in Atlanta, we had a bay window in the kitchen that looked out onto the back patio. I hung ferns there each spring, and our last spring there, I went out to water them and had a Carolina wren fly straight out at my face. Turned out she was nesting, so we got to watch the whole process from nest-building to fledglings leaving from our kitchen table. SO. COOL. Except one of the cats gave herself a concussion launching at the window to get the baby birds.


  17. I still have to go to work, but I go in like I’m working from home! lol. One of my coworkers had a Britney Spears
    moment and went into the locker room and shaved his head. It’s impossible to go to a barber and he was told he couldn’t wear a scrub hat. So now he’s running around bald. He wears it well though. I might shave mine off in solidarity if this craziness doesn’t end soon.

    So happy for some spring weather.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. “Say Anything”
    I wonder if you have a Carolina Wren building a nest. They would nest in the eaves of our porch in SC.
    Day 13 of quarantine. One more day.


  19. “Say Anything”.
    I made my bed yesterday and I did feel a little better. I haven’t put on makeup in two weeks, my eyebrows are a hot mess.
    Thanks for continuing to write and brighten the days with your humor, Coot.


  20. Now might be the time to go very very light blonde or almost white. I don’t know if you can do hair coloring like that, but, now while your at home no one will see you till you go back to work.
    Kit’s online store has a large comfy top , actually more than one, And one piece things for no ouchy healing.


  21. Lovely post, pretty June, so glad to see it!

    I know the brand is marketed for a different age group but I’ve found some very comfortable J.Jill tops. In the summer, I love linen and their shirts wash up so nicely. For this quasi Spring weather (seriously, pick a season, Mother Nature!) my first two choices on clean laundry day are a Lands End sweatshirt or J.Jill top with the fuzzy material inside and out ~ why can’t all shirts be like that? Try Poshmark, I sell there occasionally but a lot of people are listing great stuff right now while they’re not working outside the house.


  22. I have several of these –
    They are thin waffle weave, not heavy. Roomy. Longish. Pretty true to size. Cheap. Don’t shrink.
    Home office report from here is we had 3 deer in the front yard today. I expect fawns in the back yard at some point, which is as adorable as it sounds! (Back yard ends at the city limits and a prairie patch the people back there planted.)


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