Down with OPP

For the last two days at work, I’ve dedicated self to one very detailed project, punctuated by nerve-wracking, “How’s it going?” emails that are nerve-wracking, did I mention?

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to, and I do enjoy one long detailed project, actually. I find it sort of soothing. But after 16 hours, I was tuckered, is what I was. It was a lot of the concentrating. If I were orange juice, I’d be concentrated.

If I were a card game, I’d be concentration.

I can’t think of any more.

So I got home last night and took off m’shoes, came in and checked on Noir Orphan, in here, in the kitten room, and then fed everyone…

…and realized I needed more dang cat food. I mean, I had dry, but I was totally out of canned, and that was not welcome news. Is what it wasn’t. No one wants a dinner of dry kibble.

So I ate a delicious Lean Cuisine and I watched some TV (streamed the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and at this point I don’t CARE who took the dog to the shelter OH MY GOD) and finally got up my gumption and drove the three large minutes to the store.

They sell cases of adult canned food at my store, but they sell the kitten-food cans only individually. Why? Kittens don’t eat, like, twice and then you’re done. You need the case, man.

So I grabbed a case of adults only XXX cat food for her pleasure and then five cans of kitten food, which will feed Dark Victory for 10 days, after which he will probably be ready to go back to the shelter, and I know. Let’s not think about it.

My point is, a normal person would have headed to the checkout area like a normal person who is normal, but guess what I did. I got a hankerin’.

“I’ll bet they have local strawberries,” I thought, and with my case of canned adult PG-13 you-must-be-this-tall-to-eat-this-food cat food and my five teensy baby cans balanced on top, I made my way over to produce and of course spilled everything all over the Ghetto Lion’s tomato display.

“Let me help you,” said a nice woman who clearly felt sorry for the cat lady with the hair.

Finally, I gathered my case of mature audiences cat food and my teensy premie cans of gender reveal kitten food AND my new uncovered carton of local strawberries and minced my way to the express checkout.

There, a large hulking man checked my groceries.

“How you doin’ tonight?” he asked. I told him about spilling all the cat food moments before.

“We used to have a cat when I was growing up,” he said, whisking my strawberries across that thing. What did we all do before we had that glass scanny thing? Did they have to just memorize the price of all the groceries or something? I guess they had price tags.

“Oh, did you?” I always want to hear about other people’s cats. OPP, as it were.

“He was all black, and he had green eyes.” The guy looked wistful.

“Whatever happened to it?” I asked, picturing the entire family taking the day off work to take the cat to the vet for a peaceful death at the age of 47.

“Oh, we moved. We couldn’t take it with us.”

Gifs are big with me lately.

“You…couldn’t take it with you? Why?”

See. I try not to be that person. I try not to DRIVE HOME my opinions, but “We’re moving and can’t take the pet with us” chaps my hide.

“Well, we had a cage for it, but the cage wouldn’t fit in the car.”

“It…oh. Well, who did you end up giving the cat to?” I tried to have poker face, but have you met me?

“Oh, we never thought about that,” he said, “we just drove off.” And that is when


I’m still not over that story. I’ll NEVER be over that story. Mother of pearl that was a horrific story.

And the strawberries weren’t even good.

Tonight I have a party to go to, and tomorrow a bunch of us are going to some sort of prom that includes arm wrestling, and I wish I knew just exactly what I’d gotten myself into with that but I sort of said, hell yeah, I’ll go and then didn’t think about it further, because you know how I am.

As I write you this, old Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night has fallen asleep on my foot, and now Ima feel bad when I move away and leave him behind.


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At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

54 thoughts on “Down with OPP”

  1. My coworker’s name is Derek and I won’t tell you his last name, but when I searched for his name in our IT ticketing system for a prior ticket, the system asked “did you mean ‘Dark Freak’” and I didn’t realize it at the time but yes, yes I did. If I had my blog still it would be a great blog name.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s how we got our first dog. We used to live in the hills above Pasadena, CA and people would routinely dump animals up there that they didn’t want. I was so cruel. The animals kept looking for their owners and many of they were attacked by coyotes or hit by cars and killed. Our dog, Bear was hit by a car in front of our house, and luckily was only grazed. We kept him and tried to catch his litter mate that was still loose in the neighborhood, but she was so feral by the time we found her that we couldn’t lure her in.

    My friend got her puppy when she was driving to work in LA on the freeway, and someone in front of her threw the puppy out the car window on to the freeway. She managed to save the dog and not get hit in the process. Now, there is a law against this in California and you can turn people in if you see this happening.

    I hate cruelty to animals, children or the elderly. People suck.


  3. Wait – he was a child during this story, right? And he looked wistful? He was sharing this story with you because it scarred him just as it is scarring you, and us, your readers. What a lesson to learn as a child – that you could be abandoned without hope of return if you didn’t “fit”. You felt dead when he told you that story – he’s been feeling dead all this time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Geez, I have as much patience with people that just dump their pets as I do with those that “forget” they have a child in their backseat and let them die in the heat! It is sickening!


    1. Oh man. I have more sympathy for the parents. I cannot imagine living with that mistake. And I am so dumb sometimes (particularly in those early days of parenting, when you get zero sleep), that I think it’s just dumb luck that I never accidentally hurt my kids at some point.


  5. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to say to people who called the shelter where I volunteered, “You’re moving to Tennessee and your cat isn’t allowed? I had no idea Tennessee doesn’t allow cats. Is there a checkpoint at the border where they search your vehicle and confiscate all cats?” (or dogs)

    Imagine how hard it was not to say, “Ah, your daughter is going home from the hospital tomorrow with her newborn child and you can’t keep the cat? And you didn’t realize you’d have to rehome this poor cat nine months ago and are just now getting around to it the day before the baby comes home? Or perhaps the gestation period was only one day…the shortest pregnancy in human history.”

    Burke County (Morganton, NC) is probably not the only place with an abundance of stupid and irresponsible people.


  6. and that is how I got my Mully – someone just left him wandering around with his very expensive collar – tags removed of course – so first thing we did throw away that collar – and provide him with what I think is an awesome home – now of course he is not the nicest dog alright he is an asshole dog but he won the lottery being abandoned – really he could not have it any better – and after trying to kill the cats also abandoned – it is now one big menagerie – Doctor Doolittle would be jealous – but yeah people that abandon their pets deserve a special hell….


  7. Well, all I can say is thank the little 8 lb. 5 oz. baby Jesus that the jack ass idiot checker has not had any more cats to just leave behind. What a fucking tool.


  8. What the actual….

    Our baby kitty (who is almost 48 month old) was surrendered to police because they said she was afraid of all the other animals. We have two other cats who like to hiss at each other. The first night baby kitty was here, she walked right through the middle of a hiss-rest without blinking. Scared, my ass. But, it was our luck, because she’s the most awesome cat ever. Also? She has black and green eyes.


  9. Our cat, Mr. Kitty, came into our lives a couple of years ago. He just appeared one day and kind of made the rounds of the houses at our end of the street. Each of us fed him and some neighbors would put a blanket or bed on their porch for him. Eventually, he decided that our house would be his permanent address and he now gets 3 hots and a cot here. I asked around and found out that that he had lived around the corner and when his people moved out, they just left him behind. He is the most social cat and just loves people. Every morning, he takes up position at the corner of our fence and waits for the people walking to school to stop and pet him.

    There is a special place in hell for people who abandon and/or dump their pets.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I just can’t imagine.

    My aunt was a cat lady that collected the strays and fed them. She was on hospice and REFUSED to die until her adult children (I have no idea how many months old they were, please don’t ask) made arrangements for every last one of them. My cousin found a retirement farm for cats, and they came and got the cats. My aunt made my cousin go see the farm and make sure hers were there. Then the farm staff – one of them – had to APPEAR BEFORE MY AUNT ON HER DEATHBED – and swear that the cats would be fine until they crossed their own rainbow bridge. She threatened to haunt all the farm owners/workers if they weren’t fine. The farm person said to my cousin: People like her are why we do this.
    Cats were fine, Aunt Deanie passed.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. That is the same type of person that buys their children tiny bunnies for Easter then “lets them go” …. terrible. Ugh. My husband once told me that as a kid here and there, they would have a stray dog come around and it would all be good at first, then when his mom grew tired of it she would buy a big bag of dog food and leave it abandoned down a country road. I have never gotten over that, nor can I comprehend how that would EVER be the best option, and I will never like her. We currently haven’t spoken to her for 4 years, for all sorts of crap she’s pulled, but at the very start of it, was the dog story. Sometimes things happen that are just all too telling – and a dealbreaker.


  12. “If I were a camp” never came to mind? Am I the only one with no filter?

    I won’t support old Mr. Left the Cat Behind, but I can tell you that I grew up in a farming community where animals were either useful, edible, or disposable. Very different than the sentiment we had for our pets. I was the town cousin who fell in love with every barn cat and herding dog on my uncles’ farms and was crushed when they said “oh that shaggy one? Got caught up in the combine. It was a mess.” Or “the yellow cat you mean? Ate the rat that ate the poison. Killed ’em both.” Oh my life was filled with tragedy.


  13. On another subject, I haven’t found any good strawberries this spring. Is it because of the hurricanes?


    1. I just found some amazing ones at Costco, of all places. A two pound box, and after eating one little bowl of them I’m already planning to go back tomorrow and get more. Well, first I’m going to go downstairs and get more.


  14. And I thought at first he might be interested in Foster of Darkness, but NO. We won’t be giving him the sweet baby.


  15. People just astound me. I mean, WHO the hell chooses THAT story to share with the person who is clearly a cat person?

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sometimes I wonder if shit like that is a deeper problem with people. It’s not just with pets. Like people who litter. Why do people do shit that makes other people have to clean up after them. How difficult is it to try to have a little awareness that we all have to live here together and give just a little consideration and try your best to not do things that make other people have to clean up after you. I’m sure I am not perfect. But I try. I guess I have to think about all the other people that do try. Like this group.


  17. A cat follows Bad Cashier home. Next, two cats. Next, four. Another casually steps on his foot when he’s getting his mail. He sees them winding around his house, walking over his car, LOOKING at him. And then one evening, he hears a stealthy noise, glances up, and [loud music]

    Liked by 3 people

  18. My cousin and her husband paid a small fortune to send their dogs from South Africa to the U.S. when they moved to Australia. They had to stay in a special kennel for a couple of months to determine they did not have some kind of weird disease but evidently it was an upscale kennel. Then my aunt took them in her home and built a fence so the dogs could run in the back yard. My cousin and her husband eventually moved to the U.S. and they were reunited with their dogs. Just a feel good story to help offset the pet-leaving one.

    Liked by 3 people

  19. WTF. Heartless assholes.
    I hope, at some point in their miserable lives, karma hit them where it hurt the most.


  20. I initially got excited, thinking he could adopt your little black foster Kitty, then was crushed when I continued reading. I can’t imagine leaving a dear pet.


  21. Back when I had a house, I had a large number of “strays” that I fed and took care of, most of which were feral, but I was amazed at how many of them were just cats that people had left behind when they moved away, as if the cat fairy was going to take care of them. I mean, they were right in the one sense, I was the cat fairy. But they were still garbage human beings.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I will be thinking about that horrible cat story for the rest of my life.
    Once on a family road trip, when I was probably 8, we were driving down some country road in the rain. We turned a corner and there was a dog laying on the side of the road that had been hit by a car and hadn’t survived. Next to this dog… WAS HIS DOG FRIEND. Sitting by him, in the rain, alone. I BEGGED my parents to stop but they wouldn’t. I’m 35 years old and still haven’t forgiven them and STILL think about that sad dog on the side of the road with his friend. Shit. Now I’m crying about it AGAIN.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I love that he saw your mountain of cat food and read the room so wrong. Hey, I can bond with this lady with a cat story!

    I fostered cats in London through my student years. One pair were with me for 9 months while a woman was sorting herself out after a nasty divorce and house move. I then got a phone call from the shelter saying they touched base with her and she was settled in a new home. It took two further months of them prodding before she could be bothered to pick them up. Would have stolen them if I’d been in the position to own cats then.


  24. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! That is HORRIBLE. You are a lady of great control, I don’t think I could have remained nice to that guy. People are just inhumane, I don’t get it. We think that is what happened to our Trudy Trotter, abandon. After five years she finally trust us, until I take her to the vet next week.


  25. JESUS HASHTAG CHRIST. Nice way to start my morning, devastated for a cat that got abandoned years ago and FURIOUS at some hulking checkout idiot and his entire heartless, gutless, asshole family. “The cage wouldn’t fit in the car.” They should’ve left HIM and kept the cat. This is why I hate people. No, not YOU. Everyone else.

    Liked by 4 people

  26. ‘Oh, we didn’t think of that’ – WHAT?! Why wouldn’t you think of finding a good home for your cat, you, you animal. Oh, that doesn’t sound right, now does it. I thought this story was going to be sweet and teary like: he missed his childhood cat and agreed to adopt Blur once Blur was ready to be adopted. Then – bammo, a swift kick to the guy. Well, good morning! I often run into the store for 2 things and don’t grab a cart and then I become a one woman juggling act who attracts lots of stares, but NEVER from the clueless person in front of me in the line who COULD scoot their stuff over on the belt so that I could relieve my armload, chin-tucked items from my crazy balancing act. Feel ya with the spill is what I’m saying.


    1. If that’s the story he feels okay sharing in the check out lane I have to wonder what the rest of his childhood looked like. Two out of three of our cats were abandoned. One has a BB lodged in her innards(in a beningn spot). Frigging people.


  27. I have a T-shirt that reads, “PEOPLE. Not a Big Fan.” I think it applies here.

    Also – someone before me said it well — the parents of that man were HORRIBLE role models for compassion. I don’t know if I could shop there ever again, or at least ever go in that man’s lane (no pun intended).

    Liked by 2 people

  28. I effing hate certain types of people. Now *I* am not going to be over that story for at least three days. People suck.


  29. What the ever loving hell? Honestly that was a major douche thing to do. I am imagining that baby forged out and found a lovely family to live with. We had a German shepherd while we lived in England. He grew larger than normal, big enough, that the Air Force would not ship him home on one of their planes. We would have had to pay to kennel him in England, ship him home via Gatewick or Heathrow and then kennel him when we got stateside. Oh, and yes, please purchase an extra large carrier. We priced it out (in 1998) and it would have cost $5k. That was all the money we had. we did find him a good home but it killed a piece of my heart. I couldn’t be there when the exchange went down. I told my ex after that – never again until we retire will we get a pet that we have to leave behind.


  30. I am loving the reaction gifs. Too damn funny. As for people that do that mess to their pets, I believe that they have a special place in hell. We paid money out of the wahoo to bring our two cats from Hawaii to Virginia. I’m talking thousands. I could not even fathom leaving them behind. I hear stories like this all of the time and it makes me think how cruel and thoughtless they must be in real life to do that.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. I thought this was going to be a sweet adoption success story. Now I have to get out of bed and carry on.


  32. Your Edsel post has me bawling but today’s post is like a forking emotional gut punch. Is angry crying with a large serving of shock a thing? Cause it’s here now. I just can’t even. That poor cat. *sob*

    I’m going to focus really really hard on what gender reveal kitten food would look like, go hug my kitties, and do some random act of niceness today because just…. ugh.

    Too much casual cruelty & sadness in this hard world.


  33. I will NEVER understand people who can just leave a pet. I told my husband if a hurricane is coming (Florida) and we can’t find anywhere to go it will be he and I and two dogs living in the car. He got the point.


  34. That guy’s parents must have been very upstanding citizens. What a great way to teach your kids compassion and responsibility. Why do people think animals are disposable?

    Liked by 1 person

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