Without list

I know that normally I write you several hours earlier than this, but I had a work thing that was vexing me and making me anxious, so at about 7:30 this morning I got on my work laptop, not literally, and commenced to working.

I just finished the thing I was working on, then ate a salad listlessly in my back yard. Now I’m here typing you with the same level of no list. The work was fun but made me tired. Plus also too additionally, I’ve had a migraine for more than a day, and I’m taking pills for it, but those make me sleepy, which may explain why I’m sans list.

Dear June: Stop playing with the word “listless.”

My salad, the one I just ate with list on the side, had spinach and the chicken I food prepped, which isn’t very good. You know what I need? One of those food thermometers. I think I might overcook things.

Also I need good knives. My knives would make a longshoreman weep like a little bitch.

As I was saying, it had chicken, spinach, half an avocado and that salad dressing I made with oil and $700 white balsamic vinegar that is also dressing my cupboards’ surfaces (see: yesterday’s tragic post), honey and a little salt.

My salad had those things. The longshoreman I threw out there as someone who hardly cries unless he sees dull knives did not have these things.

Why do you read me?

Also, why are we all getting so weird about salt? Do you really taste a difference between sea salt and, you know, salt? Or pepper and, you know, FRESH GROUND pepper?

In other news, not that any of the above counted as “news,” my black kitten is at the shelter. Since Thursday, he’s had the diarrhea, or as they spell it in England, diorreoah, and I took him to the shelter to get checked out on Saturday afternoon. They assured me he was fine, but then he came home and kept chasing waterfalls every time he went to the litter box. Even worse, he’d meow piteously, or mayoww as they spell it in England.

Today’s post is me misspelling words in England. And talking about salad.

So I rushed home from work last night and got the kitten, rushed to the shelter all the way across town, dropped him off with a kiss on his walnut head, and when I called today they said, “We haven’t seen him poop yet,” which, really? So he’s still there and the house seems desperately mature, what with stoic Milhous and always-sleeping Iris and Lily. And white-faced, stiff-hipped Eds.

And me, with my stupid salads.

Tonight I have one of my old movies at the old theater; this time it’s that one silent movie that has that guy hanging off the clock, do you know the one I mean? Anyway, an organist comes to the silent movies and, you know, plays his organ.


Now it seems less mature here.

So I’m looking forward to that, and to getting my foster kitten back. I get to foster kittens till they weigh two pounds, in which time the kittens are ready to be spayded, as they say in England. Seeing as Mr. Blacksmith weighs only a pound and a half, as soon as he’s not shittin’ Niagara Falls, or Niaoguerra Falls, as they spell it in England, I get him back till he gains that half pound. (As soon as he returns, I’m putting him on keto so he loses weight.)


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At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

49 thoughts on “Without list”

  1. Dearest Coot,
    Wonderful post.

    I had an epiphany today. You need a wife. That’s it.


  2. Get a leave in thermometer with the wire that comes out of the oven or pan. The alarm goes off when you reach the right temperature. Works like a charm.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If you like your knives, but they just need sharpening, see if the meat department at the Fancy Food Lion will sharpen them. When we lived in GA, Publix and Kroger offered this service for free.


  4. I was told by a friend, who works for a large food company, that there is an acceptable level of non-food material in the ground pepper we buy. By non-food, he meant bug bits. I went out and bought a pepper grinder post haste.


  5. I don’t cook so am absolutely no help re: chicken. But, as I was shopping for a superior knife sharpener for my husband at Christmas I learned that a local, kitchen gadget store (that’s been around forever in the area) does on site knife sharpening; that isn’t too costly. Before you splurge on new knives maybe check them out?

    Poor kitty – hope he comes home soon.


  6. Loved this impromptu post, June. Sorry about BlacKitty. I hope he can come back to his foster home soon.


  7. A friend of mine has lost 25 pounds since January 1st when he started the Keto diet. At that rate, you’ll still be fostering Keto Kitty ten years from now trying to get him back up to 2 pounds.


  8. Niaoguerra Falls made me snort-laugh right out loud at my desk and wouldn’t you know we have extra people in the office here today (It’s review time and all the work-from-homers make their once a year trek) and now they have all witnessed me randomly snort-laughing when I am supposedly working and not reading this here not blog. Thanks Joob!

    Hope the little squirt is better soon.


    See what I did there?


  9. with Iris hacking, Millhous pooping and Edz aching, I recommend a trip to the seaside, as they would say in England. For a cure.


  10. If you cook chicken breasts at a higher heat for a shorter time, they are less dry. Then let them rest with foil over them ( but not sealed) to let the juices settle in to the meat for about 10 minutes before serving.

    Poor foster baby, he doesn’t look like it would take much for him to disappear as it is, without the Niagra Falls.


  11. Poor kitten! I hope he’s better soon!
    I’ve wondered about the salt too. Regular salt has iodine added, which I thought people needed for some reason. So if we are eating sea salt, are we iodine deficient now? A family member who has high blood pressure said he can have sea salt but not regular salt as the sea salt doesn’t affect his BP like the regular salt. No idea why or if that is true.


  12. I need a husband that cooks – or maybe just a cabana boy – that knows how to get takeout! ha ha Just kidding. (maybe)
    About salt – the pink Himalayan salt is supposed to be healthy… I like sea salt too. But then I do wonder about regular salt – Iodized salt…. No iodine in either the sea salt or pink stuff. Maybe a thyroid issue?


  13. There was a fabulous documentary on Netflix (can you watch Netflix on your computer?) called Salt Fat Acid Heat where this wonderful, not thin, female chef went around the world and talked about these four items (amazingly salt, fat, heat and acid) that give food their flavor. It was fascinating! I had no idea there were so many types of salt in the world! I highly recommend!

    Sending good vibes to tiny, baby black kitten for his swift return and enjoy the movie. If it’s a silent movie, it can’t be Back to the Future, but I can’t think of one with someone hanging off a clock face.

    I bought some knife sharpening stones last year with the thought that it couldn’t be that difficult to sharpen knives – too many idiots on youtube are doing it. Turns out, it IS difficult. And I can’t do it. Sigh.


  14. It’s good to have work that is occasionally also fun. Got no words today, just thanks for posting.


  15. Hi June, I hope the kitten gets better soon and comes back to play at your house.

    I’m a reluctant cook and the best I can do with chicken breasts is if I marinate deboned chicken breasts, then bake. I’m thinking about getting a small propane grill…if I don’t blow myself up.


  16. The reason I read you? You are a great writer and hilarious. Hope little walnut head, The Black Knight, gets back to being your foster. Keep him on the Keto so you get to keep him for a while. I have Wosthof knives that are good, but they do have to be sharpened. However, my neighbor gave me a Kyocera ceramic knife which is razor sharp and are not to be sharpened under ANY circumstances. I tried using one of those sharpeners that Wosthof said could be used, even on ceramic knives. NOT true! I ruined my wonderful Kyocera knife, which now looks like it has missing teeth. I use the pink salt, seems to be more salty, could be just my imagination.


  17. I used to grossly overcook chicken for fear of the salmonella. I’ve only recently learned to know how it’s done by its jiggle, or lack thereof. However, I do still want a thermometer to help take out guesswork.

    Have you seen Kitten Lady’s YouTube videos on caring for the helpless kittens? Anyway, if you have extra time she has tips for foster parents on all sorts of kitten issues.


  18. I have a friend who swears by her Instant Pot for making chicken reliably moist and delicious. She likes the Instant Pot in general but we happened to be talking about cooking chicken the other day.


    1. YES! I love cooking chicken in my instant pot. Even frozen breasts can go in and be cooked perfectly in 10-12 minutes. I hard boil my eggs in it too.


  19. So really, how did they come up with the word listless? The only lists I know are the bullet point ones and the falling sideways one, neither of which fit the definition of listless.
    Anywho, I am 1) so impressed with you food prep skills, 2) worried about foster kitty, 3) envious of your oldies movie theater, and 4) afraid of sharp knives so can’t relate to your shar knife need.
    Lovely post, Joon.


  20. Poor kitty, also this sucks that you keep getting migraines. I do too but my meds work for the most part, I play like it’s terrible if i want to go on my room and watch TV in peace without my husband talking nonstop. It works, but i don’t want to abuse the power I’ve found.


  21. I hope the kitten feels better and is back lowering the maturity level in your house again soon!

    We got a new (to us) puppy on 20 April 2019 (as they say in England) and it has been stressful. She is 11 months old, from a shelter, originally from Texas. We worked on crate training all last week and today, she got in her crate all on her own without being asked to before my daughter left for school… yay for Daisy!


  22. My favorite knives are Pampered Chef. I had a short part-time/second-job career with them. It was just long enough for me to buy a bunch of crap I never use since I don’t cook. But I do like the knives I got and use them a lot.


    1. Lottie Blanco’s wife packed EVERYTHING for the beach, including a portable drink-muddler. Her knives were to DIE for. I realized cooking would be way more fun if I weren’t cutting things with the side of a tongue. I’ll look into Chefs who are Pampered. Is this like a diaper fetish thing?


  23. I don’t know what’s going on today, but I’m feeling sans list too. I took a nap this morning, and decided to try one of those apps that plays soothing ocean music. And I had a nightmare about being stuck on a boat with my parents and their friends and then being locked in and drowning. Note to self: next time, opt for happy bird noises instead. Yikes. Since I woke up I’ve been all “man, someone tried to kill me, this sucks,” emotionally. Or am I the only person whose mood can be ruined by a bad dream?

    Get well soon fruit bat cat! You’re so cute! Instead of fostering, I just watch https://explore.org/livecams/big-cat-rescue/big-cat-rescue-kitten-cabana – much less poop-related cleanup.


  24. Oh honey, I thought we had moved on from sea salt to Himalayan Pink Salt! I’m not even going to guess how that might be spelled over the pond. You should have seen how I was trying to spell it (is it correct now?).


  25. Ooh yes, get a digital meat thermometer. And then subtract about 5-10 degrees from what they tell you is cooked. I felt ridiculous buying one because I don’t cook, but it was totally worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My husband, who does most of the cooking, has a digital thermometer and the chicken he cooks is always perfect, never over cooked.

      Liked by 2 people

  26. Oh fun. I rarely get to be one of the first to comment as mornings are hectic here in baby-babysitting land. I suffer from horribly dull knives too. And I have a lack of silverware because over the years I suspect the kids have tossed forks out here and there.

    A kid I babysit for had Niagara out the ass last week. Then went home and did NOT poop there. Huh? I am not putting him on a keto diet but denying him animal crackers after lunch because he refuses to say please when he wants something.


  27. Hee! Very bilingual today.

    Miaow. Is one way I’ve seen it spelled here in UK. I had no idea that other countries would spell Meow differently.

    Also it would be diarrhoea. They love their extra Oooooooooooo’s in words here in England.

    And Aaaaaaaaaaa’s.

    I like to put emphasis on those extra vowels when I say these words in my head. Or hoead.

    Liked by 3 people

  28. Wheee! Mid-morning post here on the Left Coast. That’s the shitz about the Lil Walnut Head, salads, and bad heads (yours, not Walnut Head’s). You’re probably exhausted and dehydrated from all that early work, so a nap and a drink of water may be in order. Not that I’m giving advice. I wish we had a cool movie theatre (as they say over the pond). The one place with potential is nothing but a hipster music thang which doesn’t start until the frickin’ middle of the night. Enjoy your organ (or orange, as I originally typed it).


    1. And by the middle of the night you mean like 9 p.m. right? We gripe about that same time frame at our artsy park where they show movies after dark, which in summer, is 9 or later.


      1. Totally. Or more likely, 10 p.m. Interestingly enough, we went to a George Thoroughgood concert at a casino last year, which started at a reasonable hour, and then, at a less reasonable hour, when all us old folks left the venue (and were streaming toward the bathroom because see above re: old folks), we were urged to go to the hipster nightclub FOR FREE. No hipsters there, yet, because it was so “early,” and, stoopidly, we didn’t go in for even one drink because see above re: streaming toward the bathroom. I regret that, now, because there’s no way I’m going to be up, dressed, and drinking at that hour, ever again.

        Liked by 1 person

  29. The diarrhea story made remember that the week before my family was arriving here for my husband’s memorial service, the cat started upchucking hairballs on every upholstered surface in the house. I was sitting in the kitchen and heard her horking up in the back room and went out there to find her projectile vomiting off the top of the cat tower, while diarrhea was running down the wall in back of her. Why do we have animals? I hope you get that baby back soon! I wonder if she was reacting to the change to solid food. And, since buying an instant read meat thermometer, I never have over cooked any meat products since.


  30. Keto Kitty. Or Ketoegh Kitteh as they spell it in England. I hope he gets his shit together soon so he can come home to be kept forever small. You’ll be like the DeeDee and Gypsy of the pet world.

    Thanks for the lunchtime laughs. Now everyone is looking at me weird.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I might be able to do Ketoegh and stick to it. This version sounds like it involves dough, which I like.


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