Day One of Keto, Completed

The good news is I’ve already lost a pound and three ounces. I adore the naysayers who’re all, “It’s water weight!” I don’t care whose weight it is as long as it’s gone.

How I prepared
Before I shopped for keto groceries, I went on a quiz site that reported how many grams of fat, protein and carbs I should have in a day based on my current weight and age and so on. I am sad to tell you that I already know by heart that I should have 1,357 calories, with 20 g of carbs, 72 g of protein and 110 g of fats.

I know, right? It seems so counterintuitive.

Then I got on several sites for ideas for my shopping list. Mostly I looked up no-cook ideas, because you know how I am.

I took my list to the store, and it felt weird, even as bad as my regular diet is, to buy bacon and cream cheese and coconut oil. “I’ma die before Friday,” I thought.

How I’m keeping track of my fat intake
I’ve been using an app that already tells me at the end of each day the fat, carbs and protein I’ve eaten, and should I be irked at the word “carbs”? Why doesn’t it bug me the way “veggies” does? I guess it’s not as cute. Cute words bug me. Cute words are the emojis of language.

Anyway, I always always eat more carbs than anything else, even on days I think I didn’t. Even on days I’ve cheesed out. Still, it’ll tell me, “65% of calories from carbs!” Dammit.

My app is called MyDietCoach, but there’s also MyFitnessPal. Or in my case, MyFatnessPal.

I’ve been using MyDietCoach to record what I eat in the hopes of losing weight, which I have, if you count three fluctuating pounds in five weeks. You get new clothes for your avatar when you record your food or drink your water! I always fall for dressing up an avatar.

And mother of god they are the trampiest clothes. Maybe I’m just an old copy editor who likes a cardigan and some MaryJanes, but who goes out like this? Am I one of Prince’s protegees?

You drank your water today! Toot-toot, heyyyyy, beep beep!

My point is, armed with m’groceries and m’app, I began keto yesterday.

What my day was like
I had my bulletproof coffee in the morning, drinking it while I blogged at you all, then went into the kitten room, took their quilt outside and shook it, brought it back in and laid it down with seven kittens crawling under it, got clean bowls and mixed up their kitten gruel, washed the old bowls, swept the room, cleaned their litter boxes and made sure to pet each one so they wouldn’t grow up neurotic.

At work I did this all-day, really intense project I have to do every month. It requires extra super concentration, and while I wasn’t hungry, I did feel fairly foggy.

I had a stick of cheese, full-fat cheese, at around 11:00.

At lunch, I had this and then I cleaned litter boxes again, including the boxes of my own regularly scheduled adult cats, played with Edsel in the yard, played with the mom cat so she doesn’t die of boredom, and went back to work on my intense thing.

I took the 3:00 walk we always take, a bunch of us, in the park next door to the office. It’s maybe an 18-minute walk, and while once again I was not starved or anything, I was a tad sluggish during it even though I do that walk every day.

Also, I drank 29492492043 glasses of water yesterday, including cans of LaCroix, because you’re allowed to drink those.

I peed 900 times yesterday.

After work, I went to the grocery store because I wanted to buy ingredients for fat bombs, a thing I’d just learned about. There are a lot of links in today’s post. I’m L!nk. I’mmm coming out, so you better get this keto party started.

I suppose P!nk has had other songs since that one in 2001. Right? I’ve been very busy.

For dinner, I had grass-fed beef, because who doesn’t want to eat grass, and broccoli with butter on it, some pecans and one of my fat bombs for dessert.

I did not feel hungry last night.

I walked Edsel for 25 minutes, and that, my friends, is when I hit a wall.

When I was doing marathon training, they’d talk about a wall and I never knew what they meant. But man, I was drained last night. I did one more clean/feed/pet with the kittens, and I think I was in bed by 9:30. They warn you of this, so I wasn’t surprised.

Yesterday, I had 108 grams of fat, 68 grams of protein and 22 grams of carbohydrates.

How I did
I was supposed to have 110 grams of fat, 72 grams of protein and 20 grams of carbohydrates. So not that far off.

I was supposed to have 1,357 calories, and I consumed 1,316. I also burned a big 141 calories with my two walks. Depressing.

And then today I weighed myself and actually weighed less, so I cannot complain. My weight fluctuates, let’s say between 115 and 120 (HAHAHAHAHA) all the time, and yesterday I weighed “114,” which is to say I’m at a number I almost never am, on day one. So, yay.

And that, everyone, is how day one of keto went, and I promise I won’t write this much about keto ever again. Or, you know, very often, anyway.






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At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

43 thoughts on “Day One of Keto, Completed”

  1. Oy. I’m stressed just READING about your diet. All that thinking about food intake would give me a headache. I think I’ve got it rough because I can’t eat, drink (except to “sip” water) or smoke from seven tonight till sometime after eight tomorrow morning when I get blood drawn. Then I’m going straight down to a local cafe for bacon and eggs and black coffee. Fricken fasting. When are they going to figure out a different way to take your blood? (Like they’ve now got a better way to check prostates than sticking a finger up a guy’s ass.) Medical technology needs to improve for those of us who get weak-kneed if we look at the needle stuck in our arm.
    -Kate, Wuss of the North


  2. How does this not raise cholesterol? Isn’t this what Bob Harper was doing when he had heart attack? Maybe the high fat is only bad IF you are eating carbs too? Eating full fat cheese and adding butter and oil to everything is breaking my brain! I understand how ketosis works but then also know keto acidosis is critical for diabetics. I’m going to have to google all of this and learn some shit.


    1. Yes, if you don’t cut out the carbs the high fat is not good for you. Without the carbs and sugar your body uses the fat as energy instead and you lose the stored fat in your body. It is super weird to switch your brain to thinking fat is good for you. Watch “The Magic Pill” on Netflix, it’s fascinating.


      1. Also, read the book, Wheat Belly by Dr. William Davis, cardiologist. He explains all this plus why grains are different than the ones “back in the day” and how they are inflammatory. Eye opening.


  3. Keep it up and you will have to change the tagline soon! Good for you.


  4. Excellent post. There are so many of us interested in following your keto success. I am sort of doing Eat Fat Get Thin eating plan. I can have small amounts of berries, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, but have cut out most other carbs. I had lost 4lbs. at my last doctor’s visit and I was pleasantly surprised at the area of my blood work that was a concern to me.


  5. P.S. Do you have to eat like that forever to keep weight off that you lose on the keto diet?


    1. I’ve managed to keep it off however, you have to be vigilant about what you eat unless you want to gain. My body loves to store carbs. Because I now know this, I don’t eat as many. It’s changed the way that I eat even while maintaining. Once you get over the keto flu phase, you will have so much energy. So. Much.


  6. Please keep telling us about the keto progress! I’m interested.
    But wait…no fruit?! I’m out.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I lost 75lbs on a diet that was based around ketosis. It’s amazing. Put me in the bucket of people that are excited to read about it. Also, I wish that I could take all of those kittens. My big boy started out as a runt. I bottle fed him and now he is the size of a puma.


  8. I have been putting coconut oil in my coffee but no butter. It took awhile to get used to but now I really like it. Also, I need less lip balm.
    But I don’t think I could eat cream cheese without something to spread it on.


  9. I have been toying with the idea of doing the keto diet for months now. Please keep writing about it! I need to lose a lot of weight. A LOT. I’m overwhelmed with how much actually. I live on carbs so this will be a complete change for me. And thanks for all of the links. I’m going to check all of them out.


  10. Add me to the list of people who WANT to hear/read about your Keto diet experience. I almost, ALMOST said “your weight loss journey” but then I would have had to smack my ownself with a liver. I hate when people call whatever they’re doing their “journey.” It’s so “look at me, I’m so deep and spiritual.” Gag.

    Anyway, I love to read weight loss stories. The good, the bad and the ugly. It helps me to know others are struggling.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Agreed, “carbs” is not as annoying as “veggies.” Wait till they start calling them “carbies.”


    1. Try MCT Oil. Swoosh it around well and you won’t even notice it in your coffee.


  12. You know, I have always said it was super weird how parallel our lives are. The hair. The rotten luck with men. Heh.

    I decided over the weekend to start Keto too. I haven’t started just yet – I am trying to get my kids to eat up all of the carbs in the house that I actually like, and I’ll do my shopping on Friday. Then I’ll buy carb-y food for them, but only stuff I have no problem avoiding. Like moon pies, say. Gross.

    Is coconut oil sweet?

    I also have four kittens – not foster kittens. My cat Hazel actually got herself knocked up. I hadn’t gotten her fixed yet because she’s been in heat several times and never let any male cat near her – I think I have mentioned before that she’s kind of an asshole. To everyone and everything. Well, Miss Asshole has turned into the most loving, needy lap cat you have ever seen. Hormones, I guess. Anyway, once these four are old enough, I will have her fixed with a quickness. If anyone in Arkansas wants a kitten in about 5 weeks, let me know.

    Also….isn’t keto just a new way of saying Atkins? Which I did back in my late 20s and had GREAT success with.


  13. Welcome to Keto. I am sorry to say but this week may be difficult. (Read up on the Keto flu) Drink LOTS of water. No, more than that. Keep pouring. Also take some stool softener or psyllium husks. Especially in the first week.

    If you haven’t visited the reddit keto site there are over a half a million people subscribed. Great place for info and support

    It is the only diet I have been on where I don’t feel hungry. It is sometimes a pain (eating out is a process of eliminating what you can eat) but totally worth it.

    I am almost down to the weight I was when I got married 17 years ago


  14. I guess I am a classic naysayer, but people I know have really done well on this diet, so I hope it works for you the same way.


  15. Keep in mind, the scale lies. So when the pounds lost stops or slows down, go by how your clothes fit or your energy level (it will get better, I swear) or how your appetite has changed.
    You will get over the “fat is bad” thing. It goes against everything we were taught. But if WW and all the rest actually worked, they’d be out of business. I look forward to your keto posts.


  16. One thing I’ve learned about eating keto is that it is ok NOT to eat all of your fat grams. Remember this, “20 carbs is the max, protein grams are a minimum and fat grams are a lever.” You DO NOT have to eat all of your fat grams. You can adjust the fat grams to help you lose weight. If weight isn’t coming off, eat less fat. Good luck!


  17. I would also like to hear more about your Keto diet. Can you do keto but add in extra fruit? I’d like to try keto, but strawberry season is right around the corner and then the peaches will be in and I don’t think I can give up peaches.

    If you’re taking requests, then more pets (regularly scheduled and foster) and more keto, please.


  18. Thank you for posting this!! I want to start it but I am so overwhelmed because as soon as you ask for tips people overwhelm you with great ideas, but they aren’t in a specific order and I panic!
    This post makes it seem actually possible!


  19. And furthermore – the fact that the bird rations you ate totaled 1300 calories explains a lot about my current state of fluff. Geesh.


    1. Fat calories add up fast. An avocado is 250 calories or more and olive oil is 120 for a tablespoon. I love avocados!


  20. “Toot-toot, heyyyyy, beep beep!” Girl.
    And this one. “Cute words are the emojis of language.”

    Please keep writing about Keto. It is inspiring me. I have pledged not to buy sugary creamer when this one runs out. Hey, I used to drink my coffee with just half and half. The fat bomb recipes look really good.

    Congratulations on your first day!


  21. It’s like you’ve gone back to your Bye Bye Pie roots, with this here diet post. But please do keep posting – I’m really planning a keto phase of my own and you are my influencer. And I need lots of no-cook ideas because we’re about to rip our kitchen out and remodel. Which won’t be stressful AT ALL.


    1. I just finished a whole house remodel and had no kitchen for about 3 weeks. Good luck with all of that! Highly stressful. Do you have a Whole Foods near you? Or are you near Publix? That is what saved us- ready made
      food to go, but still healthy.


  22. Try to remember to take pictures of yourself. During those times when the scale isn’t moving the progress pictures will show you that changes are still happening. I’ve been sitting at the same weight for about 3 weeks now but I am eearing clothes I couldn’t wear 3’weekw ago. Great first day, Joob!


  23. I haven’t done the Keto or the Cato diet. I do however eat low carb high protein and have lost zero weight. I start an exercise program next week which is like cardiac rehab. She asked what my goal was and I told her I wanted to drop 20 pounds and tone up. She told me that I needed to add some calories to my diet to loose weight necause my body is hoarding calories. So I guess now I will be on that show Hoarders. Gladys here hoards calories, we are going to bring in a professional organizer to organize her fat.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Good for you! Keto works for so many and has such a simple meal plan. I have done keto to shed a few pounds before a big event and I often struggled to eat so many grams of fat. The main idea is to just keep those carbs low and you’ll be good. I truly enjoy all aspects of nutrition and find it fascinating how some diets work so well for some and don’t do a single thing for others.


    1. Persephone,

      As someone who finally (in her 50s) figured out the secret to LASTING weight loss, I want to tell you not to pay attention to what works for June, and just follow your own path. This is because we can lose weight with any diet, but keeping the weight off is another story. In my case, I’d successfully lose 20-30 lbs, only to stop the diet and gain back the same + 5 or 10 lbs more in the following months.

      Since like me you like fruit, I’d recommend trying Weight Watchers (where most fruits are zero points! I love that because when I’m hungry or looking for something sweet I can eat fruit with no guilty conscience). For people who loves meat, Paleo can be a good choice, and so forth. The trick is to find something you’d be able to stick to AFTER you lost weight. The most dangerous time in any diet is when you’ve reached the target weight. At that point you’re dying to go back to eating the food you miss — and that’s when the weight comes back with a vengeance.

      TL;DR: Don’t follow what works for others; find a diet you can stick to for life, as unfortunately losing weight is the easy part, and keeping it off is the tricky part.


  25. Keep keto-writing. I am looking for inspiration to actually do that diet but the thought of giving up fruit stops me each time. Knowing about the apps helps, too. See – now you’re giving us advice! The only thing that could make this post better is kitten photos. Great post, June!


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