Got a photograph, picture of

Awhile ago, I got an email from my credit card company. Dear Jooooon, it said. The design on your credit card has expired, it said.

The design has expired?

We could send you a new card with a regular boring blue design, or you could pick one of these pictures if you want, or upload your own.

I mean, why is this necessary in life? What possible benefit does this company get out of letting me choose a design? Do they think I'll use my card more often if I like the picture? Do you know what I use my credit card for? Buying candy out of the vending machine at work. It takes credit cards. I have no idea why. So that 50 cent candy really costs me $17.

The point is, of course I looked at the designs they had to offer me, and if I were one of those people who had a pink curlicue monogram on her back windshield, I might have loved them. Sunsets, praying hands, jellybeans. I am not making this up.

I called Austin over. Austin is my stupidly handsome coworker, the one who is funny so then you forget he's handsome. He's one of the art guys. "How about the traffic jam?" he asked. "A traffic jam says 'I'm a busy executive. I encounter traffic jams often.'"

And that is when I began to ignore Austin.

So, because my credit card company gives me SUCK-ASS choices, I appeal to you. What picture should I use for my credit card?

Cockasaurus rexI asked Ned, and he said this. So, we can ignore Ned now.

I mean, are there any photos from this blog, this photography blog, that you can recall that I should use? I'd like to abstain from using a photo of my cats. I'm already almost 50 and single. Put a cat on my credit card and you might as well start playing sad spinster music whenever I enter a room. Put a cat on my credit card and I'm a Cathy cartoon.

What would BE spinster music, do you think? See, this is how I get distracted.

Photo ideas, please.

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At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.