Saturday (horn) in the park (horn) I think we’d better get to Ask Junnne (horn horn horn horn)

We are mixing it up this week, having Ask June on Saturday instead of Friday. Ask June likes to keep things wild and unpredictable. I know your teeth are vibrating.


Also plus, Ask June, her spouse, and her dog are headed to a state park today, so she has to kind of stampede through the questions. Ask June is not at all thinking about being eaten by a panther or falling off a cliff today or anything. Because Ask June is so able to relax and enjoy herself, ever.

So let's hang over at a potentially posthumous Ask June, shall we?

Bonnie wonders, "Do you have a favorite grammar book? My favorite is 'Woe is I'…"

Ask June knows she seems as though she were the type to sit around reading grammar books, but in fact she is not. Ask June did read the dictionary the summer she was 10, so she understands she was headed that way. Until she discovered boys and wine.

Confused Grizzly queries, "I was very impressed with your affect/effect explanation. Do you have one for which is bear is bare? I'm not sure I can bear or bare to hear the answer."

Ask June knows she seems like she'd have a pithy way to remember bare or bear, but she does not. I guess you could always think, "I can't bear to go bare." How about that? (And as a reminder, if you can use "alter" in the sentence, the word is affect. Remember a with a.)

Tee frets, "How is Francis doing? Poor baby."

Tee asked this question back in January, when poor Fran had a kidney stone. But he is doing well, Tee, for an angry 690-pound, 12-year-old cat. I think he had another one in March, but it too did pass.

Carrie asks, "Don't you think it would be fun to have a luncheon with all your Michigan readers the next time you're in town?"

Let Ask June tell you something about when she goes back to Michigan, Carrie. Ask June lived there for the first 27 years of her life, and therefore formed a lot of close bonds and Gold Bond Medicated Powder. And her family and her husband's family all live there. Whenever Ask June returns to the Mitten State, she is booked like Maria Carey was right before she had that breakdown where she came out with the food cart on MTV. Ask June has gotten to the point where she does not say on her blog that she is returning to Michigan, lest she get 952 "You're coming back for 17 hours for a wedding?! Let's get together at some point!!" messages. (But please don't stop wanting to see me, friends in the Mitten State. Ask June kind of enjoys the chaos when she is back.)

But yeah, that does sound kind of fun, actually. Particularly the idea of a "luncheon." Will Hanna Gruen be serving it to Ned Nickerson and Nancy Drew?

Shannon ponders, "Do word scrambles/searches drive you insane because it's just not right or do you strive to solve the mystery?"

Ask June knows she seems like the kind of person who would do word scrambles and such, but she is not. That said, lately Marvin printed out several word searches for his students because it was the end of the year and apparently he was over teaching, and he got irate because I would often take them and do them, when he was going to use that printout to make copies at work. Ask June say relax. And help her find "poignant" backwards and sideways while you're up.

That wraps up another compelling episode of Ask June. Next time you hear from Ask June, it'll be on the 11 o'clock news: "A yellow dog was found wandering alone at the state park today, and in possibly related news, a panther at the park coughed up a world's record hairball."

Published by


At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

12 thoughts on “Saturday (horn) in the park (horn) I think we’d better get to Ask Junnne (horn horn horn horn)”

  1. Is this where we ask our Ask June questions for the next Ask June post? If so, my question is, does punctuation go inside or outside the quotation marks?


  2. I don’t think you died in the park because we already had our deaths come in three…
    I’m watching Walk the Line, and it made me think of you, June Cutoff Cash-Gardens, and I also have been meaning to tell you… This is a little weird, but, I have birth control, and it’s in a plain white rectangular pop-the-pills-out container, and I decorate them with sharpies, so it is eye-catching and I remember to take it. So lately I’ve been putting the name of the month on it in a fancy design, and every time I look at that cute “June” with the sun and rays on it, I think of you (even though it’s not your real name!) It’s empty now, so if you want, I’ll mail it to you and it can be some kind of creepy fan souvenir. Or something.
    Have you been celebrating your pretend namesake month? Maybe you can squeeze something in this week..


  3. Now Mother has confused my little pea brain when I had affect and effect all sorted out, I thought. LOL! I still like your rule a for alter. Now I can remember that.


  4. Just watched the news .. glad to report that there was no reports about a panther coughing up a world record hair ball .. I just hope that this is in fact good news about your recent trip to the jungle and not just because the news has still got Michael ALL over it.


  5. Hope you had fun and weren’t eaten by a panther or hedgehog or squirrel. Those squirrels can be VISCIOUS!
    hee hee!
    I’m sure Lula had a BLAST!


  6. Sugar, you seemed to be a little snippy with your Mother this morning. She was only trying to help improve your bloggy friends.
    Have fun at park!


  7. Not that I am advocating cheating, but I totally just tried to cheat and vote twice with a different email address in that STUPID ASS funny blog contest you keep harping on about. And? It told me that someone had already voted from my computer. But? It also told me that “if that was a mistake,” try again in 30 minutes. It hasn’t been 30 minutes yet, but if the “one vote per day” only keeps you out for 30 minutes…. not that I’m advocating cheating, or anything.


  8. Yeah, but that’s the word AAA-fect, not a-FECT. I would hope people would know AAA-fect starts with an “a.”


  9. Just a note on the affect/effect explanation: when used in a mental status exam, affect refers to the emotional state expressed by the person’s face, ie, her affect seemed angry. Her reported mood was depressed. This is one instance when alter can’t be used as a replacement in order to judge if one is using the work correctly.


Comments are closed.