Spring isn’t here, but the sky was blue

In case you didn't see it on the CNN ticker or read it in your local newspaper, I went to Michigan for a wedding this weekend. My college roommate Sandy got hitched, after 34 years of being single.

See what I did there? I shaved some years off her. That's the kind of friend I am.

And I just have to say, for the record, what whenever my friends look beautiful, I somehow take personal pride in it. Like somehow it was my doing that my friends look good, or it reflects on me that the friends I've chosen are hot. I don't know the psychology behind it, y'all, I'm just saying that's what happens.

So when I saw Sandy come down that aisle, I was already weeping at the ANTICIPATION of seeing her, but when she came out? And she was the most beautiful woman the earth had ever seen? I had to clasp my wadded-up Kleenex to my chest to keep my heart from bursting out, that's how proud I was of myself for picking her.

See how I can bring it back to being about me? Here she is:


Yes, I know she's in the middle of saying something, but just try to catch a bride not hobnobbing during her wedding. But come on now. Beautiful?  And I wish you could see that engagement ring better. I tried to photograph it but it is actually unphotographable or something, so large and brilliant is it.


And I would like to point out that despite my efforts to get the bride to wear a sparkly "June" barrette in her hair, as hard as I squinted, this did not seem to spell out anything. And hey! That's the groom with her! Don't poor grooms get ignored at weddings. Shout out to Allan!

Before we got to the seeing-of-the-bride (oh, and groom) part, however, Dottie and I got to our room and were delighted that there was a whole gift bag o' food for us.


I do not know why I look like I am male gendered, if you know what I mean. I was PRETTY EXCITED about the snacks, I guess.

And I'll tell you what, we had no time to gab. I got off the plane at 2:30, we got to the hotel about 3:30, and the shuttle for the ding-dang wedding was at 5:00. Brassieres and heels were flying, and I did not photograph that part, but here is Dot in all her finery:


Okay, yes, she is also stroking a plastic gazelle as well as modeling her finery. Sometimes that happens.

My finery photo was actually taken at two in the morning, when I remembered we'd not taken one. Hence that I look as though I am about to have a coronary, with that flushed face. I'd been DANCING. Sue me.


And what a natural pose. I was off to hostess a game show after.

During the reception portion of the evening, we were mixing and mingling and someone came up to me. "June!" she said. And I do not mean that she said my real name and I just changed it to "June" just now. She actually said "June." Turns out? She's a friend of Sandy's, and she and her husband read my blog all the time. They knew who I was because they saw me get this dress via this blog, blow out the hair via this blog, Nair the lip, etc.

They did not tell me I could use their real names, so here are Faithful Readers Glue and Calyx, who sat at our table and were just a hoot all night:


You know how you meet people and hit it off with them immediately? Well, particularly because they have read your life story and already think you're funny and  also know that your date likes Stroh's? Okay, perhaps this example is no longer relatable.

Anyway, we had a good time with Glue and Calyx and have scheduled a Detroit date with them (so they can finally meet Marvin) (which by the way, you guys, we'll be in in April for a dog bar mitzvah. I am not making that up. So clear April! We'll see you then!).


Also at our table was another woman who I did not remember to ask permission to use her name, so let's just say it's NOT MARY, and this is her purse. She and four other friends purchased this purse for $5 when they were on vacation in Fort Meyers. Now every time one of them goes to a wedding, they take the purse. And they have a big note in there that they add to, talking about each wedding. Okay, I LOVE THIS! I LOVE the mermaid-looking traveling purse! I so want one!

I don't know what else to tell you, except I got compliments on my dress, and OH! I was passing a tight spot and some man said, "You're thin, you can squeeze through." I said yeah, probably, and then I turned back and said, "And thank you for saying I'm thin." Loved him. Loved him, the traveling purse, the Glue and the Calyx and the nice guy who sat next to me at our fun table. Oh! And I loved Sandy's wedding shoes!


Dot was a good date, and danced with me to various songs such as Brick House and the Bee Gees without complaining. You can't have a bad time with Dot. Or Sandy.


Really, why am I so flushed? I look like I'm going to explode. We hadn't danced for hours at this point. And I wasn't drunk, either.


Oh, good. At least here I'm a normal color. What am I so enamored of? I look like Barry Gibb just walked into the room.

Well, I'm glad you could all take a trip up my nostrils and to the Michigan wedding with me. I will do comment of the week tomorrow. Right now I'm so tired I could spit. I do not know how people jet set.

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At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

29 thoughts on “Spring isn’t here, but the sky was blue”

  1. You don’t know me, but I am one of the girls from the travelling purse gang. My friend Mary sent me this link and I just wanted to thank you for giving our purse the props it deserves. It sounds like you too, know the value of girlfriends, so you can imagine how special the purse is to me. I’m glad you loved the idea too. Sounded like a fun wedding!


  2. Just thought I would let you know that I opened up my eye’s this morning and thought “I hope June has already posted pictures of her wedding weekend.”


  3. Speaking of blog writer sightings, several weeks ago I was leaving Target when I saw a man talking on his cellphone near the bench in front… and who was it? Marvin Gardensalad. I would have totally bothered him and said hello except he was on his cellphone. I will next time though. I think I forgot to tell you that.
    Oh and did you bring this MI weather down with you? Thanks a lot. Not.


  4. June! Most importantly, did anyone like the earrings that I loaned you????? Like you, my dear, it’s all about MEEEEEE!!! Me, me, me!! 🙂
    Your friend, Sandy, is a beeeee-youuuutiful bride, indeedy. Really gorgeous.
    And, you, my dear, looked HOT! You skinny beee-ahhtch!


  5. June,
    My husband always knows when I’m reading you because I am nearly snorting coffee out my nose. What a way to start the week. I am now full of happy, laughing, endorphins (don’t deconstruct that sentence. I know it’s all wrong.)
    Oh, I’m now convinced that we are destined to be friends. Why? Because you live in G’boro (and I used to live there) AND my husband is from MI (and we go there twice a year and stay for a while) as his family all still lives there.
    Oh, and I am rather thin but not so tidy and only anal about a few things.
    Glad the wedding was fun. Sandy is indeed gorgeous! And you…and the dress…and fur….STUNNING, June, STUNNING.
    The area above your lip simply glows…it could be a miniature slip and slide or something.
    Have a great week!


  6. That Sandy is a knock-out! Well done Allan.
    And you and Dot looked really foxy, too. Nothing beats a wedding date who’s not afraid to dance.


  7. Thank you, the Furry Godmother… I dashed in here this morning because I was wondering the same thing. Was Calyx punching Glue or just reminding her to keep her trap shut?


  8. Fabulous. You looked great and Sandy (good Lord) is beautiful. I love a good wedding. Glad you are home safe. Hope you get to work from home due to the snow in N.C. Texas is warm and sunny, you really should come and live here!


  9. Okay, so why is Calyx trying to punch Glue? And I think the Vera Wang faux fur (because you’re not allowed to say that any other way) would be just the traveling sparkly bag substitute you are looking for to make the wedding scenes trading amongst your friends.
    Whew. That was a mouthful.


  10. Umm..am I not being told about the doggie bar mitzvah because they know I will not come in for that?


  11. Meadow Soprano got married and you were in her wedding? Did ya get to dance with Tony? Actually, i think Jaime-Lynn Sigler, the actress who played Meadow Soprano is very beautiful and so is your friend. You look like you had a great time.
    In the last photo of you with the sparkley dangling earings, the fur, the lighting, the blonde hair with the curl to it and blue eyes, you are capturing a kind of Marilyn “Happy Birthday Mr. President” vibe for me. I’ll send you a copy of the photo taken after her performance that reminds me of that.


  12. Wow, now that you’ve been to the top(of the USA, almost) how are you going to be happy down south? Looks like a good time was had by all, especially our own skinny June. Don’t know how you were able to put this posting up. Any posting I would do would have been jibberishy. Good luck at staying awake at work!


  13. You look maaaaaahvelous, daaaahling. SO glad to see the stripey gray tights didn’t make the trip!
    Beautiful bride, plastic gazelle eating friend’s head, Glue & Calyx, doggie bar mitzvah, dancing to the Bee Gees, gorgeous white wedding shoes, faux fur with a smattering of cat hair…. PRICELESS. Sounds like a wonderful weekend.


  14. What a beautiful bride! Such striking guests she had at her wedding. That story of the traveling purse was awesome. Glad to hear that you and Dottie had a fine time out and were not arrested for accosting that poor gazelle.


  15. SNORT! When will I learn not to read your blog while eating or drinking? Excuse me, must clean keyboard now.


  16. Tee, and I promise I will stop answering every comment after this, I got here right on time. There is ice on the trees, and the wind is a-blowin’ and that plane ride was NOT SMOOTH. We flew right through that storm. I would’ve been canceled, I’ll bet, had I gone on a later flight.


  17. ROFL, that photo of you and all the goodies! Sounds like the wedding was fun, fun, fun. Your friend Sandy is beautiful. I too wear fur every day–commonly called cat hair, can you imagine that! Did you get back to GSO before the snow storm? LOL!


  18. How I love your up the nose shots. My June you are thin. So when are you coming to Montana? You better hurry because it looks like Old Gladys will be heading back to Southern California here in about a month. Hey we could meet in Texas oh wait the Song was Meet Me in Montana. That won’t work. OK I’ll come back to Montana if you’ll meet me here and bring Talulah. I’ll get some books for her. 😉


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