Answering Meme. But not a meme.

Faithful reader Meme asked me a bunch of questions in yesterday's post, so I thought I would just answer them as today's post.  Here are her questions. I do not think they count as Ask June questions:

This post has caused me to do a lot of thinking, which doesn't happen often. I have a lot of questions, if that is okay with you….

Did any of the dogs jump in the water? Do you cry during Somewhere Over the Rainbow because of the Topamax or the migraines? Does Marvin leave his shoes on when he is on the bed or was that totally for the photo? I have to get back to this Topamax. Before the weight loss phase – during the Cheech phase – did you gain any weight from having the munchies? Can you get Topamax if you tell the doctor that your (mine-not yours) weight gives you migraines? Have you encountered book loaning beauty yet? Please don't leave us hanging here….:]

I am not sure what Meme's emoticon was at the end, there. Sort of a very-square-jawed smiley face. Perhaps it is Maria Shriver smiling. Anyway…

Dear Meme,

Is your name Meme like those questionnaire memes that people send around?

Yes, all of the dogs jumped in the water many times, but Tallulah was not so crazy about it. She mostly waded. The others swam. Tallulah is a lot like me. I never went in for those athletics as a child.

I do not know why I cry during Somewhere Over the Rainbow, except I really do wonder why if happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow why, oh why can't I. It pisses me off.

We were at a hotel when Marvin had his shoes on the bed, which is no excuse. Marvin is kind of slobbeldy. And yes, J, we WERE at the B&B on our anniversary. Wow. Nice attention to detail. The angle does make him look thigh-y, but in real life he is not.

I never have had munchies at any time since beginning Topmax. Today for lunch I ordered fries from McDonald's and a bottle of water and I ate approximately seven fries and got bored, and most of the water is still in my purse. I do not mean that water is sloshing at the bottom of my purse, I mean even drinking water is boring to me.

I suggest you all start getting migraines. However, your doctor will make you take other medicines for a few years first before he rewards you with Topamax. I found that out from a woman at work who is just starting to get migraines and wanted to go stampeding straight to Topamax after she saw me have the appetite of Mary Kate Olsen. I do not know what dreadful reason doctors give for not putting everyone on it. I do not wish to know.

The woman who will never, ever loan me anything again and who will probably stop liking me after she hears what Tallulah did to her book is on Christmas break, which means I did not get a chance to fess up today. I did tell my boss, who is friends with said elegant woman, and after clasping her hands over her mouth and saying, "Oh, JUNE!" 150 times, which really made me feel a lot better, she pointed out that said elegant woman will be gracious about it. Which she will, but you know on the INSIDE she will hate me.

Oh, I get douche chills every time I think about it. It is so awful. But see? She would never have been friends with anyone who said "douche chills" anyway.

The guy I walk with at 10:00 and 3:00 every day–who many months ago I said I was going to call Christopher Walken and I never, ever have–offered to loan me a bunch of his Twilight Zone episodes over Christmas and I said, "You sure you want to do that?" and he said"….Oh….yeah." See? I have become the person you don't want to loan stuff to. I told him maybe I'd borrow his DVDs when Lula was two. It's like being Regan from The Exorcist's mom.

So, there you go, Meme. I hope you have stopped hanging. Wait. Is it like Mimi? Is that how you pronounce it? Now I am hanging.

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June

At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

24 thoughts on “Answering Meme. But not a meme.”

  1. Merry Christmas!
    It’s muggy here in Georgia. Who stole winter?
    My friend just came by to wish me a Merry Christmas. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt. Well, she had jeans on too. I was wearing my XXL hair and sweating. That is something we have in common (the hair), though my hair gets bigger than yours.
    Hopefully, Santa will bring you everything you need and some of what you ask for.
    Linda (middle Georgia)

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  2. MERRY CHRISTMAS MARVIN, JUNE, LULA, WINSTON, RUBY, MOTHER, MOTHER’S HUSBAND, (she’s married, right?) AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

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  3. All I want for Christmas is a new post from June, oh a new post from June, yes, a new post from June. Gee if I could only read a new post from June then I would have a Merry Christmas!
    Merry Christmas June and Marvin!

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  4. June~ You are so hilarious. For the past month my husband and I have been putting our children to bed and then I read him your blog and we crack up laughing. Sometimes I am afraid we will wake up the children from our laughter. You are theraputic. Oh and the Mr. wants to know if Topamax works better than Midrin.

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  5. Hey! My sister was here! It worked! I talked about your blog on my blog, and my blogging sister started reading! You’re lucky. She is a VERY faithful commenter.

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  6. There is a downside to Topamax. My head was SO tingly and sensitive that sometimes I couldn’t brush my hair and forget sticking a Q-tip in your ear ever again…

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  7. Oops! I didn’t mean :} I meant 🙂
    But :} could be me sticking my tongue out at you, but then, why would I do that? I wouldn’t do that!
    Have a Very, Very Merry Christmas!

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  8. Thank you so much for answering all of my questions – I have to return the favor and answer yours now! My nickname is Meme because my father used to say “Everything is always about you….you you you you you” but what he was really saying was “me me me me me” so he called me Meme. Does this really make any sense? I guess he could have called me Youyou, but it was always Meme. And my crazy emoticon :] was “made” years ago when I hated the fact that the programming would change my :} into a real smiley face – I don’t like computers messing with my face, silly right? But Maria Shriver or Hillary Swank? I guess I am going to have to change it back to :}
    Thank you June!!! Have a Merry Christmas!!!

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  9. June, this is for your Mother. I feel I have stroked your ego enough with my forever telling you how dadgum funny you are.
    Mother ~ You crack me the heck on up. Will you adopt me?

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  10. Holy crap…your Mother is as good as you are! My husband and I have said a THOUSAND times what your mom’s 2nd comment says. How cool is your mom?
    AND? AND? I’m making a note to myself: Remember to wear Depends or a Poise Pad while reading June… ’cause the Maria Shriver thing made me lose my junk. This is in addition to the strict “No eating while reading June” policy I’ve created.

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  11. My sister, Jenene (the one with all e’s in her name and the one who’s husband’s middle name is Imperial), got me started on reading your blog today. You’re very witty and I enjoy reading your blog.

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  12. Gus was always a good dog. He kept to himself and never caused any trouble. I can’t believe he would be violent. (This is an often quoted response from friends and relatives of recently arrested or expired members of our very violent community when someone is shot or otherwise murdered. It’s a sad commentary on the status of things in our little rust belt economically deprived city.) Gus was only protecting his territory. Actually, Gus and Tallulah did pretty well together.

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  13. Hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahaha
    :]
    The newest emoticon for “SMILE OR I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT!” Why do I see that smiley face and think of Hillary Swank?

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  14. Hopefully, the new signed, first edition will arrive before lovely lady returns to work and you can have it waiting for her, THEN tell her what happened. I still feel so bad for you. I bet duck tape would work well to stop said dog from eating all your books.

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  15. I was just barely getting over the Maria Shriver emoticon when I got to douche chills. Now I must go change my pants, thank you very much you very, very funny f***er, for making me soil my undergarments.
    Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

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