I Can’t Believe it’s Yoga


I just did my yoga DVD. Can you tell? "Namaste" is some yoga word, which roughly translates to "How’s it hangin’?"

We had free yoga at noon at my old workplace in LA and I loved it. Really, the more I talk about my old job in LA, the more I wonder why on earth I agreed to pick up and leave that place.

But I just did yoga. No negativity. I am at one with the world. Really, I am at about 27 with the world. But I’ll do more yoga and work on it.

I forgot that cats love it when you work out on the floor. I have no idea why, but every cat I’ve had gets excited about this. Maybe they think you are trying to become a feline, what with the being on all fours and mewling and such.

However, today I was trying to relax into child’s pose, which basically means you are kneeling face-down on the floor. My cat Ruby, who has asthma, decided this was an excellent time to chew my hair. Which for some reason is a way she shows she loves me. Perhaps she is trying to chew it off in hopes of giving me less hair, which would be nice.

Anyway, I was trying to breathe and relax and be zen and such, and there was asthmatic Ruby in my hair.

"SNURKLE! SNURF! SCHNERK SCHNERK SCHNERK [chew chew chew chew chew] SSHNURK! sneeze!"

Finally, toward the end of the DVD, Marvin Gardensalad came in with a plate of spaghetti. He sat at the end of the couch, four inches from me. "Are you watching Gurpmaloni?" he asked me. Once I copied a meditation CD from a friend, and instead of writing the real name of the meditation instructor on the CD, Marvin wrote "Gurpmaloni Changetremeshu," which I thought was actually her name until I mentioned it to my friend and she went into hysterics.

I was nearing the end of the workout, and we went into Corpse Pose, which many say is the hardest pose to master. You lie on your back, hands at your side, and completely relax. You don’t move. It’s harder than it sounds.

"You look actually dead," Marvin said between spaghetti consumption. "Now I’m picturing you actually dead and I’m getting upset."

So all in all, it was a pretty relaxing evening of stretches, poses, breathing, spaghetti and schnarkling. Namaste.

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At one point, I was sort of hot, in a "she's 27 and probably a 7" kind of a way. Now I'm old and have to develop a charming personality. Guess how that's going.

6 thoughts on “I Can’t Believe it’s Yoga”

  1. It can be aerobic if you do Ashtanga… All the surya namaskaras (sun salutations) and vinyasas in between poses keep the heart rate up – maybe not as much as a run, but more than a walk.


  2. I love yoga! My cats have realized that they get no attention when I do it, so their interest in yoga time has come to a screeching halt.
    Just remember — when trying to lose weight, yoga does not in any way, shape, or form replace aerobic activity.


  3. Same deal with doggies! Lady used to come and lay on the yoga mat and wag wildly while I was attempting a pose! Such a little peanut.


  4. My cats do the same thing. You can see the excitement in their eyes when I get my yoga mat out. Every time I downward dog I end up with a cat in my face.
    I too have a kitty with asthma. She stopped having attacks when we removed our carpet. I was kinda bummed we never got a cute little kitty-sized inhaler. Does this make me a bad person?


  5. The only time the kids and I tried to do yoga along with a DVD from the library, we laughed so hard that our sides ached and we had tears streaming down our faces. We were not good at the poses, but had a wonderful time together.
    I suppose we were four with the world during those moments! 🙂


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